Vice

     Ah! I can't stop! That's the nature of vices, right? Vice is defined as "an immoral or evil habit or practice." When you look at it that way though, maybe a lot of the things we call vices aren't really vices. Maybe we're using a bit of hyperbole when we call drinking coffee a vice. IMMORAL? EVIL? Holy crap. I didn't know. I actually started this post thinking about how terrible biting my nails is and how it was a terrible vice of mine. But now I'm reconsidering because I don't classify it as immoral or evil. It's gross, but I don't think it's the main cause of my damnation to hell. Still, I need to make a better effort at not biting them. I hate that I do it but at the same time there is something oddly satisfying about it. Much like all those other immoral and evil things. Oh god, I'm doing it right now, between sentences. Stop it, stop it. When will I ever stop? Oh, it's a bait. So likely never. Great.

Expanding

     Even though posting on Oliver is getting less and less frequent, I'm still going to take it to the next level. I'm joining the party late and I've started a tumblr.  It can be found at nancymelchert.tumblr.com. If you check it right this second, the only content is a picture of me. But more will come. It will be more focused than Oliver is, so please still visit Oliver for my frenetic ideas on TV, books, and science. And anything frenetic.
   

Oh

     Sometimes that great thing that makes you feel great all the time can also make you feel shitty. Yep, sometimes improv makes you feel shitty. You read about how that can happen, but you secretly hope that will never happen to you. But it does and there is no amount of reading or anecdotes that can take away that sting of the shitty Harold you just did. And you know you have to shake it off, but maybe for about 20-minutes, you just want to dwell on it. You want to wash it down with some Sam Adams Octoberfest and replay the shitshow in your head 15 more times.
     Eventually, you can get off that bar stool and head home and know you'll be back to do it again. What are you going to do? Quit? No. Of course not. That would be ridiculous. You're going to do it again, and it might hurt again. But you spend some time staring at this poster and you know it'll be fine again.

(From http://improvartvice.tumblr.com/)

Moments I Love

     There are some moments that are just great. I had spent the majority of last night at the theatre--I did a marathon if improv shows, catching The Curfew, Death by Roo Roo, and Grandma's Ashes. All were wonderful and totally worth standing in the back of the theater for 4 hours. I started walked home and had that great debate of going out or going home. I had been alone at the theater, so there was no peer pressure to go out. Also, it was just after 11:30 and I was hoping to watch some of SNL. I knew one of my friends is very often at a favorite bar of ours on Saturday nights--not because he has a problem, it's just what is done--so I decided I would swing in the bar to see if he was there. If yes, I'd hang for a drink; if no, I would continue home.
     I walked into McManus at about 11:55pm and headed towards the back. There was my friend, sitting with several other friends and acquaintances, all watching SNL. I took a second to take it in. Ah yes, this is exactly what I wanted. To watch the season premier of SNL with my comedy friends at a bar. This is perfect. I stood a step back until commercial break and then approached the table. A great night was had by all.
     Also, more bars should just show regular TV shows.

Wants and Needs and Wont and Kneads

     There are so many things to do! Just in the world, there are so many things that are available for doing. It's amazing. And sometimes it gets overwhelming. How to keep up?!
     "Wants and needs and wont and kneads" could be the title of this past year. I want to do it all. But I need to sleep and I need a job. I'm wont to jump in to so many projects and get in over my head. I don't knead all that much, but I could take the leap to say I'm kneading myself into the person I want to be. I have wants and needs and I wont and knead. Ah! It's so much.
     Usually it's so much in a good way. I meant to take a nap last night--I turned off the light but left the TV on and set an alarm for 2 hours--I woke up 12-hours later. Apparently I needed that. For a minute I felt guilty for sleeping so much and missing shows I was planning to go to. But again, I probably needed the sleep and in the long run, a healthier well rested me is better for all. This morning I watched a short clip of a Mad Men thing someone had made. I thought "oh man, I need to catch up on that show. I didn't know Rory was on it." And I started to try to figure out how to carve out weeks to catch up on Mad Men. And then all of the other TV shows I need to catch up on.
     I love TV. I haven't seen much of it recently, but not because I don't want to. Recently someone asked me if I watched something and I could hear myself being one of those assholes who starts with "oh, no, I don't watch..." I cut myself off but it was too late. I do watch TV. I love watching TV. I haven't recently because I was doing something else. But it's not a good excuse. I want to watch TV. I need it. I'm wont to watch TV all the live long day. I have no knead analogy for TV.
     I'm going to keep pondering this whole wants, needs, wont, kneads thing, but I think a lot of it comes down to patience. I see all of the things around me that I want to do. I think about all the steps I need to do to get to those wants. And I consider my wont behaviors--some are helpful, some not so much. And right now I think the answer is that in time, with the right balance, I will be able to catch up on Mad Men.

Songs Stuck in My Head

For some inexplicable reason, I get this song stuck in my head every day at work. From beginning to end. I sing the whole thing, out loud, at work.



I also get this song stuck in my head, because every day someone says the word Brooklyn, and then I go "I'm standin' in Brooklyn, waiting for something to happen..." and we're off.