1993

     When I say 1993, it doesn't seem like that long ago. I remember it pretty clearly. 1993 was the year my brother graduated high school and The X-Files premiered. I remember talking about The X-Files with guys in my math class. I've mentioned in a few posts that I've been rewatching the show. I remembered the show fondly. I did not remember 1993.
     1993 was basically just the late 80s. We were practically cave people driving around in clunky Oldsmobiles and using dial-up modems. Remember the sound the dial up modem made? It dialed in, you heard a dial tone and then it went all KKRRHAHKFKKCHUNK PINGOOPINGOO AKRKALAKKKHHAHHH RKRKAHHARAHRAH ­SHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH.
     It was an especially ominous scene in The X-Files--the camera pushed in on Scully's computer, a desktop with the biggest monitor you've ever seen--and the dial up modem kicked in. It's been so long since I've actually heard it, I was a little taken aback. Then I chuckled a bit. Oh 1993, you're in the past.
     1993 is probably in history books by now. Maybe just recent-history books, if those are a thing. It's almost 20 years ago, and I suppose stated that way, it does sound like a long time ago. Something about the aughts made my brain fail to recognize the appropriate passage of time. It feels like the 90s just happened, like we drifted from the late 80s and slammed into 2012.
    I really only mean in this specific instance, while watching old episodes of The X-Files--and sometimes Friends. I watch a lot of Friends reruns also, so that many be contributing to this whole 1993 just happened phenomenon. But a lot of things look pretty much the same, except for our cars, computers, and phones. Oh, and 1993 hair was also pretty atrocious.

 Exhibit #1:

Feathering was really in, even for federal agents.

Exhibit #2:

This actually isn't that terrible, but it's not that good, is it?

Exhibit #3:

She sure looks Desperate. She may not want to Trans-it across America with that hair.
(It's Felicity Huffman, btw.)

To be fair, it wasn't the 80s fault Felicity Huffman's hair looked like that. It was a very stressful time for her and the episode called for it. The disaster that is Scully's hair for the first three seasons however, purely a product of the times. 

Between 1 and 2 O'Clock

    Just as 12:10am is the tipping point, between 1 and 2 o'clock in the glory hour.  Between 1 and 2, I make all kinds of amazing plans.  I decide I don't need that much sleep and I should rewatch all the X-Files. I start making lists and coming up with new projects.  I rededicate myself to something nearly every morning between 1 and 2 o'clock.
     It's the time for passion projects. And the time for believing that the passion for them is enough to actually get them done. It's actually a very magical time. It's when I can run marathons, write novels, make movies, raise families, and win awards. I dream of getting so much done between 1 and 2.  And then 2am comes along and that's pretty late, so I usually go to sleep.
 
   
   

I Know Shit

     You know, there is some shit that I know about.  And damn it, if you ask for my help on stuff, I'm gonna tell you about the shit.  And just because you didn't know I knew the shit, it doesn't make the shit less relevant.  Consider yourself lucky that you asked someone who knows so much shit for help.  Because not only do I know some shit, I'm pretty god-damn humble about it.  That's why you didn't know about all the shit I know--'cause I'm fucking humble.
     Also, it just so happens that I can remember a lot of shit too.  I happen to know the names of the three main cast members of The Big Bang Theory--Jim Parsons, Johnny Gilecki, Kaley Cuoco--even though I do not watch the show.  I can also remember specific things about The X-Files; I could still write a graduate-level thesis about the Mulder and Scully relationship and its importance to the show and the franchise.  My knowledge of these topics does not make me an idiot.
     But I digress.

     I'm just saying that I actually know shit and it's a real blow to my ego when people are so surprised by it.  This also falls under the realm of opinions on things.  Sometimes my opinion is right, so please just take a second and consider it.  For example, "maybe this character should behave more like a human" might actually have some relevance in your rewrites. I realize having a Master's degree in Film Production doesn't trump your penis, but maybe just for a second, listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth.  I think I'm pretty open minded while listening to your euphemisms for vagina--axe gash, thanks for that--so maybe you can extend me the same fucking courtesy.
     So maybe that's not so humble, but I just wanted to get that off my giant heaving chest. I know what the fuck I'm talking about. Digression over, and hidden because sometimes I think maybe I should say those things. And really, that's the big problem here isn't it? Because really, I should fucking say it all the time and much louder. "Stop writing your women so stupid and the reason you can't get women is because you are actually an asshole." Now that's a great piece of writing advice.      

10 Years Too Late

     The X-Files was awesome. I really enjoyed the show.  It actually reached an unhealthy level of obsession somewhere around 1998.  I would set my VCR to record it every week; one week it appeared as though my roommate had taped over it with Yellow Submarine, the Beattles movie.  I may have freaked the fuck out.  Turns out, it only taped over the very beginning and the rest of the episode was available, so nobody had to die.
     I loved The X-Files a great deal, and this led to a lot of assumptions about me that were not true.  I liked the show because of the characters.  I loved watching Mulder and Scully.  I did not care about the aliens or the creatures.  The government conspiracy was only mildly interesting, really.  If it weren't for Mulder and Scully, there would have been no show.  This was proven in season 9, when Mulder went away and everyone stopped watching.
     I held on for Scully, but it still wasn't the same.  Chris Carter, the creator, tried to prove that The X-Files could continue based on the strength of the files themselves.  He figured people were interested in the supernatural and unexplained enough to push forward without the main characters.  He was wrong.  Mulder and Scully were the only reason to watch the show.
     Agent Doggett wasn't terrible.  Nor was Anabeth Gish, even though I don't remember her character's name.  But the files themselves weren't interesting enough to make up for the loss of the great characters.  To prove my point, here are a few clips of great scenes from the show.  They're great because they're about the characters, not about the aliens.
    I wanted to include the last scene of the episode "Post Modern Prometheus," but it was unavailable. This (I assume) fan made video of the episode was though, and it actually gives a pretty good feel for what the show was about. So, against my better judgement about fan-art: