1993

     When I say 1993, it doesn't seem like that long ago. I remember it pretty clearly. 1993 was the year my brother graduated high school and The X-Files premiered. I remember talking about The X-Files with guys in my math class. I've mentioned in a few posts that I've been rewatching the show. I remembered the show fondly. I did not remember 1993.
     1993 was basically just the late 80s. We were practically cave people driving around in clunky Oldsmobiles and using dial-up modems. Remember the sound the dial up modem made? It dialed in, you heard a dial tone and then it went all KKRRHAHKFKKCHUNK PINGOOPINGOO AKRKALAKKKHHAHHH RKRKAHHARAHRAH ­SHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH.
     It was an especially ominous scene in The X-Files--the camera pushed in on Scully's computer, a desktop with the biggest monitor you've ever seen--and the dial up modem kicked in. It's been so long since I've actually heard it, I was a little taken aback. Then I chuckled a bit. Oh 1993, you're in the past.
     1993 is probably in history books by now. Maybe just recent-history books, if those are a thing. It's almost 20 years ago, and I suppose stated that way, it does sound like a long time ago. Something about the aughts made my brain fail to recognize the appropriate passage of time. It feels like the 90s just happened, like we drifted from the late 80s and slammed into 2012.
    I really only mean in this specific instance, while watching old episodes of The X-Files--and sometimes Friends. I watch a lot of Friends reruns also, so that many be contributing to this whole 1993 just happened phenomenon. But a lot of things look pretty much the same, except for our cars, computers, and phones. Oh, and 1993 hair was also pretty atrocious.

 Exhibit #1:

Feathering was really in, even for federal agents.

Exhibit #2:

This actually isn't that terrible, but it's not that good, is it?

Exhibit #3:

She sure looks Desperate. She may not want to Trans-it across America with that hair.
(It's Felicity Huffman, btw.)

To be fair, it wasn't the 80s fault Felicity Huffman's hair looked like that. It was a very stressful time for her and the episode called for it. The disaster that is Scully's hair for the first three seasons however, purely a product of the times. 

I Watch Cougar Town

     I love the show Cougar Town. I'm not sure how vocal I've been about it before, but it occurs to me I should be more vocal. It's a great show and everyone should watch it. It got the shaft from the fall schedule, and then a little bit of a shiv for a mid-season replacement. It's back on February 14th. I'm pumped.
     Creator (of the show) Bill Lawrence posted a highlight reel for the upcoming season. He gave us all fair warning that there were spoilers in it, but he wanted to share it to get some buzz going. I didn't watch it right away because I didn't want to be spoiled. I already knew I would be tuning in every week and I would be happy to get Cougar Town as it was intended--in episodic form. But the video was retweeted enough that I broke down. Oh how fun season 3 looks to be!
     There is a whole lot of talk about how it's the worst title for a show ever. And also how the first six episodes are one thing and then it makes a switch. I never really thought much about the title until friends scrunched up their noses at me when I told them to watch. Eff them, they were missing out. The shame of that is that I knew they would really like it. The Cougar Town gang was a lot like my gang. Maybe just in the way that characters are universal, but also in the way that we like to sit around all day and drink. We have a holiday dedicated to it.
     I recognize the switch the show made after the first few episodes, but I didn't mind the initial ones all that much. I found them amusing. Maybe I was distracted by something shiny, but I didn't notice what was lacking. At the same time, it's hard to imagine the show having kept on that same path. Clearly, Bill Lawrence knew what he was doing.
     Now Mr. Lawrence is doing his best to get his show out there. He wants people to be aware of it, and to watch it (a lot), and to tell all their friends to watch it. Every Nielson box in America should be tuned into Cougar Town. Mr. Lawrence is going to great lengths. He's putting on viewing parties all around the country. There are two scheduled for NYC and I happen to have my name in the ticket lottery. I don't know how the tickets are being given out--I'm sure very fairly--but either way, I'll be watching Cougar Town when it premieres on the 14th, and then every Tuesday after that (or whatever day it's on for the rest of the season).
     I figured, as a fan, I would do my part to tell a few people about the show and how much I loved it. Every once in a while people take my advice, and they're always (ALWAYS!) glad they did. Watch it!

happythankyoumoreplease. A Review.

     happythankyoumoreplease was written and directed by Josh Radnor.  Josh Radnor is best knows as Ted from How I Met Your Mother. I bring this up because I suppose if you're the one person who enjoys Ted on HIMYM, you might enjoy Radnor's character in happythankyoumoreplease; he's basically Ted who says fuck and has a beard. (Yes, there was an episode of HIMYM where Ted had a beard. Not the point.) Radnor offers nothing new, in fact, I would say he offers much less.
     Studio descriptions of the movie call it "generational." It's about 20-somethings on the verge. I suppose every generation needs their 20-somethings on the verge movie. This ain't it. It's possible I'm just too outside the generation this movie is speaking to; perhaps I'm too much of an adult to relate to this rag-tag group of friends just trying to figure things out. I may not be the film's target audience. Except I'm only barely outside that generation so no, that can't be it.
     The main character, Sam (Radnor), is a writer. He's a writer because that's what Radnor knows and romanticizes. There seems no other great reason for this character to be a writer. He could have done anything else. Based on the fact that he is not homeless, he must be a successful writer, even though he spends a lot of time pondering his prospects as a novelist. Dear Sam, you're 29--nobody feels sorry for you.
     Very early in the film Sam becomes linked to, or saddled with, a child who got left on the subway. At one point the kid runs and Sam chases him and says "hey, can we stop running? I'm 29." Wakka wakka. Because 29 is old! People start dying at 29! It's all over at 29! Shut up, Josh Radnor.
    The film felt like Josh Radnor read Screenwriting for Dummies, watched a few episodes of his show, and then just went to work. Had this script been handed in by any other 29-year-old indy writer, it most likely would have been rejected. Even when the stakes got big, they were still small. Really bad things should have happened, but I suppose because Radnor is a white guy, nothing too terrible does.
     There are very few original lines of dialogue. How many times in real life do people actually ask each other "What are you afraid of?" It must be tons, because it keeps coming up. The cliched dialogue and situations were abundant. I was bored. I did not care what happened to any of the people on the screen. Within the first 5 minutes of the film I "got it." I could see where Radnor was trying to be funny, and trying to be cute, trying to be edgy, and trying to be original. Of course, when you can see where he's trying to do those things, it usually means he's failed at them. He sat down to write some quirky instead of something true that turned out to be quirky.
     Kate Mara is in it, and she's nice, but mostly I just wanted her to get out. Her character made bad decisions. Josh Radnor flatters himself believing women like Kate Mara would fall for indecisive ass-messes like him. Kate Mara's character was named Mississippi. Also dumb. Not quirky, just dumb.
     Also, I reject the premise that Tony Hale is an ugly man. That's just unfair and not true. Sure, he can make himself look goofy at times. And maybe he started kinda balding a little bit early. But of the cast you've assembled, he is not the ugly guy. I was very put off by the story line that involved Tony Hale's character as the ugly guy who eventually wins over Malin Akerman's bald heart with his words. Her description of suddenly seeing him as an attractive man were more insulting that enlightened. He is an attractive man, you're just a shallow bitch. This may be another area where I'm too old to understand the new definition of attractive, though.
     The tag line for happythankyoumoreplease is "Go Get Yourself Loved." That's dumb. I was going to put a picture of it at the top of the post, but I didn't want it mistaken for an endorsement. I do not endorse this film. happythankyoumoreplease was Josh Radnor's masturbatory pet project. It was boring and predictable.

Talking About Movies

     I enjoy talking about movies. I'll mostly talk about comedies, though I know a decent number of non-comedies also. And a few classics. And inevitably someone brings up Kramer v. Kramer  and I lose my credibility by bringing up this:


Which I find quite funny.

Between 1 and 2 O'Clock

    Just as 12:10am is the tipping point, between 1 and 2 o'clock in the glory hour.  Between 1 and 2, I make all kinds of amazing plans.  I decide I don't need that much sleep and I should rewatch all the X-Files. I start making lists and coming up with new projects.  I rededicate myself to something nearly every morning between 1 and 2 o'clock.
     It's the time for passion projects. And the time for believing that the passion for them is enough to actually get them done. It's actually a very magical time. It's when I can run marathons, write novels, make movies, raise families, and win awards. I dream of getting so much done between 1 and 2.  And then 2am comes along and that's pretty late, so I usually go to sleep.
 
   
   

Groundhog Day

     Happy Groundhog Day.  It's February 2nd.  Today, some schlub pulls a rodent out of a tree stump in Punxsutawney, PA and spits in its face or something and then announces if there was a shadow. Somehow seeing the shadow or not indicates when the seasons will come. It's one of those ridiculous legends that we hold on to because it lets midwesterners get drunk in the middle of the day morning.
     It was an amusing holiday when I was a kid. While in high school, my brother and his buddies took a trip to Punxsatawney; they were local heroes. (We had little to live for in our Midwestern town.) Maybe it was a bigger deal because global warming wasn't a thing yet, so we really wanted those bitter winters to end. If a damn groundhog would give us the glimmer of hope we needed, we'd take it.
     The luster of the holiday has worn of, but the comedic stylings of Bill Murray never do. I'm pretty sure this is the only movie ever made about Groundhog Day, because it's the only one there needs to be. If there were others, they were burned.  In hell.   

   

Leap Year

     This year is a leap year! It's pretty common knowledge as to why leap years exist--science and calendars didn't quite line up.  A year is actually 365.25 days long (actually, 265.242190). That fraction of a day has to go somewhere.  After four years, a quarter of a day at the end of each year is basically an entire day. So February gets an extra day every four years to even everything out.  Clearly, it's more scientific than that, but that's the gist.
     Leap Year is also a 2010 movie starring Amy Adams where she goes to Ireland on Leap Day to win magical powers. I forgot the movie existed until I Googled leap year and it popped up. Why was it released in 2010, which was not a leap year? Why was it released at all? Also, further IMDb searches reveal that there was another movie titled Leap Year also released in 2010. It's unclear if this movie took place during a leap year, or on a leap day, or if it's about frogs or Amy Adam's magical powers.
     I'm being sarcastic about the magical powers, but leap years seem magical to a certain degree. Leap years are the years of Summer Olympics and presidential elections. They're full of hope, promise, ambition, and sweat. Sweet presidential sweat.
    After February 29th passes and we're done thinking about the poor people born on that day--are they lucky to be unique or cursed to be freaks?--the thoughts of the extra time starts to fade. Subway will probably do some soul searching.  Did they realize there would be extra day during Februany? Any footlong sub for $5 for an extra day! They might've lost their shirts.
     The leap day in February makes the month seem more hopeful and less dreary.  February by itself is not great.  It's right in the middle of winter; the year isn't new anymore and spring looks so far away. What is there to look forward to? In a leap year, there's the leap day--an entire extra day; a gift of time! Hope is restored.