A Case of The Mondays

     I realize it's an unpopular thing to say, but it's also real.  Today, I have quite the case of the Mondays.  And for me, another aspect of the Mondays is that if Monday morning is bad, I don't have much a shot at the rest of the week.  Yes, this is a defeatist attitude, but I have 31 years of empirical data to back that up.
     I try to start Mondays off right if for no other reason than to offset the inevitable shit week ahead.  But if Monday morning is shit, well then, I should just pack it in now.  I actually woke up not late this morning.  I had a wonderful shower and performed the rest of the morning routine appropriately.   It was nice.  And then came the train.  Pardon the pun, but the train has derailed any possibility of a successful week.
     It was late, and jerky.  I mean that in a physical sense, though I suppose I would also call the train a jerk if I were to assign it personified behaviors.  The trains lateness of course caused my lateness, thereby completely negating waking up not late and everything I had done right earlier in the day.  I could have slept in, taken a Navy shower, and not worn make up, and I would have arrived at the same time.  I feel defeated.  This then leads to a general feeling of the Mondays.  My attention span is that of a gnat on crack, my tolerance for stupidity is dangerously low for the workplace, and I just want to stuff my face with nuts trail mix.
     Also, being late today means I'll be even later tomorrow, and the next day, because that's just how it goes.  It's how it always has gone, and I don't see how it could possibly go any other way.   A bad case of the Mondays leads to the testy Tuesdays, the  worked-up Wednesdays, the ticked-off  Thursdays, and the  finally-it's-fucking Fridays.  Ugh, the Mondays.  

The Sound of Silence

     Not the song, but actually the sound of silence, is completely awful.   Maybe it's a small ADD part of me that feels the need for constant stimulation, but frankly, I need constant stimulation.  There is such a thing as too quiet.   The two places I come across this most are at work and in my mother's house.  Also my mother's car.  Well, pretty much anywhere with my mother.
     I find the silence creepy.  And what's worse is that it makes every small sound made within the cone of silence grating.  The sound of the air conditioner/heater blowing through the vents provides just the right amount of white noise to try to lull me to sleep.  I hear every key stroke.  My eye lids make a sound as they scrape across my drying contact lenses.  It's terrifying.  I put my earbuds in sometimes, but then even at their lowest possible volume, they seem deafening.  Oh god, what if someone hears that?
     Mouse-click.  Backspace, backspace.  Mouse-click.  Chair squeak,  the door three offices over opened and closed, sneeze.  I always imagined offices to have more white noise.  On The Office there's lots.  People are talking, making copies, playing jokes.  Not here.  There's something about the silence that apparently promotes productivity.  It's the tension, I'm sure.
     And then there's the tension surrounding my mother.  She doesn't like music.  This can't really be true, but she never listens to it.  She doesn't play music in her house, and she doesn't play it in her car.  And if there were constant chatter or something, I would understand it.  But there isn't.  Instead there is just eerie silence.  So eerie it makes you afraid to say anything.   A simple question can get catapulted into an argument, just for breaking the silence. 
      We sit at the table finishing our lunch.  I start chewing an ice cube; I should know better, clearly.  I've cut the silence and hit her last nerve.  It's hard to relive, but let it suffice it to say, it is not a relaxing place to be.  Someone (me) usually storms out.  Often to be alone, where I can make noise.
     I do appreciate a certain level of silence for certain things, I'm not an animal.  At funerals, for example.  Other times though, the complete tension forming eerie silence drives me mad.  Completely insane.

Thursdays and Superballs

     I'm just happy it's Thursday.  Thursday is one of my favorite days of the week.  There's the excitement of the impending weekend, without the pressure of kicking off the weekend right.  This Thursday started off great with a snow storm and a 2 hour work delay.  That was nice.  Thursday nights are made for staying in.  I put on my pajamas, make some junk food, and settle in for the night.  In college, Thursdays were the beginning of the weekend.  Not for me.  For me, Thursday has always been a great night for staying in. 
     In college, Thursday night was for Friends, Will&Grace, and ER.  The superball wars began on a Thursday night.  My roommate was going to the library to study.  She asked me to tape (TiVo wasn't invented yet) ER for her.  I unreasonably screamed profanities at her about the audacity of her request.  Of course, I taped it.  But as the closing credits rolled and she wasn't back yet, I began to get ideas.
     For reasons I don't care to go into, we had access to approximately 1000 bouncy superballs.  Clearly, the next logical step was to fill smarty-pants library-going roommate's bed with them.  My other roommate and I layered first roommate's bed- between the mattress and the mattress pad, between the mattress pad and the fitted sheet, between the fitted sheet and the regular sheet, in the pillow cases, and all mixed up within her comforter and blankets.  We tried to wait up for her, but the adrenaline wore off and we went to sleep, giggling. 
     The next morning, other roommate and I were on our way out to our Friday morning workout session.  We peeked in smarty's room- she seemed to be sleeping soundly.  On top of the superballs? we wondered.  Huh.  Who knows.  Fast forward to our return.  Smarty is still sleeping, but we need breakfast, and roomie has a headache.  The medicine cabinet door opens, thuds and screams fill the apartment, and smarty appears in the hallway: "Payback is hell, bitches!"  And so the superball wars were born.
     This Thursday won't be anything like that.  But it will have Community, Parks and Rec, and 30 Rock.   And I won't be taping it for anyone.  Except that I TiVo it for myself, and then watch it over and over.   

Things I Take Advantage Of

     Mostly, how snow affects people here in the district.  It snowed last night.  And by that I mean a few flakes fell on the ground.  I couldn't actually tell by looking out the window, but the folks on the radio said that's what happened.  And then they listed schools that were opening two hours late.
     I like to take this to mean that I'm allowed to split the difference between getting to work on time and getting there two hours late.  In reality, there is no reason I can't actually make it on time.  When judged against the standards I'm used to- Michigan winter standards, the weather looked like a warm Spring day.  Yes, there were a few flakes.  And yes, it was at that awkward temperature where everything is slushy.  So you wear a coat, and you put some gloves and maybe a hat on, but it's not really cold.  Yep, it's gross out.  That is what a warm Michigan spring day is. 
     But far be it from me to take the storm crisis mode too lightly.  If folks in this area think we need to be on alert, and therefore stay inside and not go to work, then who am I to argue?

The Oscars

     The nominations are in!  I didn't get to watch them live on TV, mostly because I was at work.  Luckily this is the type of thing you can find all over the internet.  There's even a special Oscar page. 
     I'm not surprised by any of the nominations, really.  There are a few folks who were apparently snubbed, and it's a bummer, but there really weren't any people who didn't deserve the nomination.
     I like the Sound Editing and Sound Mixing categories.  I like them because really, who cares?  Other than the people who are nominated, nobody really gives a crap.  It's a nice category, for them.  It's the type of work that largely goes unnoticed.  Good sound editing and sound mixing enhance the film, but it does so in a way that it doesn't (or shouldn't) draw attention to itself.  I'm sure all the films nominated had great sound editing and mixing.  It's also a great category because it lets films like Tron:Legacy be nominated.  It makes me chuckle to think of someone flipping through the discount DVD bin in 5 years and finding Tron:Legacy.  They pick it up and read "Academy Award nominated*..."  They react with "what the hell?  Oh, sound editing.  Sure."  It's a real award, but also, it's kind of fake.  People rarely remember who wins that one. 
     I do not like the Original Song category.  It seems like it was created when there were a lot of musicals so it made sense to recognize the songs.  Now I think they're grasping at straws.  Randy Newman should win, because he's the only person nominated who deserves anything, and Toy Story 3 was great.  The other songs are lame, even though I probably haven't heard them. 
     I like that Toy Story 3 was nominated for best picture, also.  Pixar really knows how to tell a story.  I don't really think it will, or even should, win, but it's nice to know a good story that is well told can earn a nomination- the fact that it's animated and a threequel didn't diminish its heart.  The Academy should just give them the Oscar for best animated feature now. 

Thursday Night Line Up. A Review.

     Ah, my favorite night of television is back.  I like to watch these shows twice, and I prefer being able to watch them through TiVo so I can pause it when I need to laugh extra hard and don't want to miss the next line.

Community.  The characters are just so damn good.  I love how this show has developed.  It started off as a Joel McHale vehicle, but is now truly an ensemble show.  I love whenever Shirley says "I'm a grown-ass woman."  I love anything Troy and Abed do.  I love that people come to find Jeff in the bathroom, and then some nerd finds Britta in there.  I love that Malcolm Jamal Warnar guest stars as Shirley's ex-husband, and I really love when Jeff compliments Andre's sweater and Andre responds "My dad gave it to me."  Precious.
     An overall review of this episode is tough for me.  I just want to say "squueeee" and "hearts."  I loved it.  I love all of them, it doesn't matter what they do.  I think they have wonderfully developed characters, and they tell good stories.  I couldn't remember how Jeff knew Rich, but I was actually glad that they didn't tell me.  I knew they had met last season, and that was good enough to get me through the story.

Parks and Recreation. It was like hanging out with an old friend again.  They did a recap at the beginning and I sort of wanted them to just get to it, but then I remembered not everyone watches it with as much regularity as I do.  It was almost perfect.  Poor Jerry.  I think it's hilarious how mean they are to Jerry.  It seems to be for no reason, but also, there's probably a damn good reason.  Leslie throws his beautiful painting into the lake.  Later, for no reason, she takes his coffee out of his hand and throws it in the trash.  He's trying to be the one positive person when Ben tells the department they will be in maintenance mode and everyone just yells at him: "Jerry!"  Greatness.
     I love Andy Dwyer.  He's so sweet and clueless.  "If you're trying to tell me something, I don't know what it is, because you won't call me back."  Chris Pratt nails that character.  I love the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.  Ron Swanson is awesome.  I also love how we know Lucy is pissed at Tom, even though we only saw her for about a nano-second.
     The one part where I got a little squishy is when Leslie starts to going on about the plan and she blames it on Ann.  I felt like she could have covered it better.  It works itself out, kind of, so it was ok.  I suppose it forces Ann to talk to Chris, and admit to him she likes him.  And she admits why she went along with it, and that makes her seem like an even better person.  It was sweet and honest: "Leslie came up with the idea, and I love her, so I went along."  Simple.  Ok, I feel better about it now.

     "Our budget's been slashed to zero. I tried to buy fertilizer the other day for the soccer field... request denied. We literally can't buy shit."  It's hilarious, and I like that she uses literally correctly.  If you try to look up the best quotes from the episode, you end up reading the script.    And if you try to discuss all your favorite scenes with your friend over G-Chat, you pretty much recount the entire episode.  It's great.  Watch it.  Go Big or Go Home.

30 Rock.  I wonder if or how the new time slot will change the show.   But I shouldn't think about that part too much.  I agree with Liz and her new years resolution: "Yes to staying in more!"  Classic mix-ups are great, and I love that they accidentally got married.  It seems like some people think that Jack and Liz should end up together, but they shouldn't.  I was a little confused as to why it had to be divorce papers and not an annulment, but I guess that's just semantics really.  There were papers to be signed, and that was leverage.  Everyone had some sort of marriage troubles.   
     I also heart Cheyenne Jackson's character, Danny.  I wish he were around more, though I do like that Kenneth pointed out they just forgot he still worked there.  Awesome.  It's also great when he slips into his Canadian accent just a little bit.  I like how Liz doesn't actually know what's going on with them, so when Jenna makes a declarative statement about marriage and Danny or whatever it is, Liz and Pete just kind of assume it's Jenna being crazy.  There's a simple "huh" and they move on.
     Again, attempting to review the episode just makes me want to watch it again.  The scene where Liz goes on TV to announce a $5 million donation to NY Public Schools was fantastic.  "We know what art is.  It's paintings of horses."  (Side note:  I really enjoyed when Jack calls Liz Elizabeth.  It was pitch perfect.)  And the voice!  The voice!  "What was that voice?" "That was my imitation of Drew Barrymore's impression of that crazy lady."  Awesome.  "Your plan worked, I fired her and brought up slavery."  "I knew I could count on you."  "This isn't my first rodeo."  "I've been to a rodeo too.  It was a cat rodeo.  In a gay guy's apartment."  I love their back and forth and their one-up-manship.  I also really like Sherri Shepherd as Angie Jordan.  That show would be a massive hit!  
     I am probably unable to give a fair review of 30 Rock.  I will always think anything it does is hilarious.  Tina Fey is a comic genius, so if there is a joke I don't laugh at, it's because I'm stupid.  It's been said before, and it's true: she could shit in a bucket and I'd think it was hilarious.  And it would be too.  

The rest of the Thursday night line up (Perfect Couples, The Office, and Outsourced) don't get reviewed.  Perfect Couples is new; I'm not convinced yet.  It's decent filler though, and gives me time to get a snack.  I've lost interest in The Office, though I'll watch it now that it's between shows and since it's Steve Carell's last season.  Eff Outsourced.  I don't watch it.  I pretend nothing at all happens in the world after 30 Rock is over.

The Wait Is Over

     Finally, January 20th arrived!  I've been waiting for it for months!  The season three premiere of Parks & Recreation!  Woo!  It's like spending time with an old friend.  A hilarious old friend. 
     I need to rewatch the episode, and the rest of the Thursday night line up, and then provide a thorough and thoughtful review. 
     Also- yes, I do like exclamation points.  I was that excited.