It's Leap Day!

     Happy Leap Day! What a wonderful holiday Leap Day is. It's rare and there are no presents involved! It's probably not really a holiday at all. It's a day for science, really. It's the opposite of those made up Hallmark holidays that exist only to make money and make single people feel shitty. Leap day wasn't made up at all, it was calculated by scientists.

     The sad part about leap day is that by mid-March, we'll probably forget it even existed. For the two months leading up to it we think "Ohhh, this is a leap year! What possibilities!" And then February 29th comes and goes and we carry on, not caring about that extra day we had this year. A co-worker will ask "is next year a leap year? Or was it this year? How often are they?" Oh poor leap day, how we take advantage of you.

     It's an extra day and perhaps we should embrace it! "Real Life is for March!" We get an extra day. In addition to allowing ladies to propose to their men, it can be a day for metaphorical leaps and trying new things. OR, for sleeping in and drinking wine because it's a free day so nobody will notice. Man, wouldn't it be great if everyone got their own private leap day? Just an extra 24 hours tucked away somewhere where nobody could find you. It'd be like going on vacation in a wormhole. Oooooh, wormholes. 

     I also wish the Leap Day William movie that 30 Rock made was real. Jim Carrey? Andie MacDowell? The basic plot of Groundhogs Day and Liar Liar wrapped into one? Yes, please! And while we're talking about Leap Day William, who wore it best?

Jim Carey in (the fake) Leap Day William

Kenneth (Jack McBrayer) as Leap Day William

   








   
Here's wishing you a day of leaps and science! Happy Leap Day to us all!

V-Day

     Happy Anna Howard Shaw Day!
     Also, the V could stand for so many things. Victory, for instance. We just don't celebrate a good V-E or V-J day anymore, do we? Or vagina! Happy Vagina Day! That could be a thing. I think a few years ago when The Vagina Monologues  were all the rage, it actually was a thing. It has since faded from our vernacular or our lexicon or our social conscious. I bet V-V day would be spectacular. Think it over.
     I've never given a shit about Valentine's Day. At all, ever. I used to get a small box of candy in a heart-shaped box from my dad when I was a kid. I guess that was nice. But I don't buy into any of it; I believe it's made up. I'm not trying to be cynical about it, but I don't celebrate anything else made up by Geoffrey Chaucer, so why this? It is a fun day to make fun of though. Below, a few clips from my favorite V-Day skewing show, 30 Rock.

Shut It Down.

     I hope that if the government does shut down, President Obama has the fortitude and pop-cultural awareness to just shout "Shut it down!" and then walk out of the White House and head to his Colonial Williamsburg vacation.  The lines between politics are increasingly blurred mostly with help from CNN and their journalist-stand-up-comic team.
     Did you check out that CNN link?  There's a picture of The Three Stooges.  The headline reads "The Fight Just Gets Dumber."  Well sure, CNN, when you put it that way, it does seem to be getting dumber.  We're in a 24-hour news cycle and every angle of the possible shutdown has to be told.
     I caught the end of a news segment yesterday where the reporter was making the point that this is Spring Break (Spring Break!  Woo!) week and there would be many students here to check out pieces of historical interest, but those doors would be closed.  At first I scoffed thinking that was hardly the most important thing about this looming shutdown.  But then I thought about it and how pissed I would be if I was planning a week long vacation to some place and it was just closed.  It would be like Vacation- almost exactly like it.  WallyWorld is closed, except by WallyWorld, we mean the government so no, you can't visit museums or the zoo.
     The radio was full of reminders of the dozens of things that are still available even if the government does shut down.  The Newseum, for example, is not a government funded museum and is fun for all ages.  And there are plenty of private art museums.  My favorite was that you could still look at the monuments.  The elevator that goes to the top of the Washington Monument would be closed, but you can still go to the park and stare at it.  That's good news, they're not going to cover up the monuments.
     Here in the district this very national problem has also taken on a local flavor.  There was a town hall meeting held last night and the news coverage of it really did look like a scene from Parks&Rec.  Except instead of cool calm Leslie Knope fielding the irate townspeople, it was Virginia Congressman Jim Moran yelling back at the people who were yelling at him.  One man asked why Jim Moran was having an Emergency Town Hall meeting instead of being AT congress trying to fix the problem.  It may have been a fair point.  Jim Moran started answering the question and when the man interrupted, Moran laid the smack down.  It was local government.  But it's not.  An interesting dichotomy for the area indeed.
     If the government shuts down there won't be a Cherry Blossom festival.  People won't stand for that.  Recent news states that the Republicans and Democrats can't even agree on what they don't agree on.  I'm going out on a limb here.  Or at least I'm showing a limb I haven't shown before.  A huge part of the discussion is over Planned Parenthood, and therefore abortion.  You tell enough people that they can't watch a Cherry Blossom Festival parade and stare at some pretty pretty trees because the government doesn't want to fund abortion, they'll start pushing girls-in-trouble down the stairs.  Tell you what, I'll pay for your abortions.  First ones free.  Come on!  My friends want to visit the Natural History Museum.
     I don't know any more than anyone else about how the next few hours are going to go. As a matter of fact, this might be completely irrelevant by the time it posts. But if there is a shutdown, I hope they announce it in a manner consistent with this video.

    

Thursdays and Superballs

     I'm just happy it's Thursday.  Thursday is one of my favorite days of the week.  There's the excitement of the impending weekend, without the pressure of kicking off the weekend right.  This Thursday started off great with a snow storm and a 2 hour work delay.  That was nice.  Thursday nights are made for staying in.  I put on my pajamas, make some junk food, and settle in for the night.  In college, Thursdays were the beginning of the weekend.  Not for me.  For me, Thursday has always been a great night for staying in. 
     In college, Thursday night was for Friends, Will&Grace, and ER.  The superball wars began on a Thursday night.  My roommate was going to the library to study.  She asked me to tape (TiVo wasn't invented yet) ER for her.  I unreasonably screamed profanities at her about the audacity of her request.  Of course, I taped it.  But as the closing credits rolled and she wasn't back yet, I began to get ideas.
     For reasons I don't care to go into, we had access to approximately 1000 bouncy superballs.  Clearly, the next logical step was to fill smarty-pants library-going roommate's bed with them.  My other roommate and I layered first roommate's bed- between the mattress and the mattress pad, between the mattress pad and the fitted sheet, between the fitted sheet and the regular sheet, in the pillow cases, and all mixed up within her comforter and blankets.  We tried to wait up for her, but the adrenaline wore off and we went to sleep, giggling. 
     The next morning, other roommate and I were on our way out to our Friday morning workout session.  We peeked in smarty's room- she seemed to be sleeping soundly.  On top of the superballs? we wondered.  Huh.  Who knows.  Fast forward to our return.  Smarty is still sleeping, but we need breakfast, and roomie has a headache.  The medicine cabinet door opens, thuds and screams fill the apartment, and smarty appears in the hallway: "Payback is hell, bitches!"  And so the superball wars were born.
     This Thursday won't be anything like that.  But it will have Community, Parks and Rec, and 30 Rock.   And I won't be taping it for anyone.  Except that I TiVo it for myself, and then watch it over and over.   

Thursday Night Line Up. A Review.

     Ah, my favorite night of television is back.  I like to watch these shows twice, and I prefer being able to watch them through TiVo so I can pause it when I need to laugh extra hard and don't want to miss the next line.

Community.  The characters are just so damn good.  I love how this show has developed.  It started off as a Joel McHale vehicle, but is now truly an ensemble show.  I love whenever Shirley says "I'm a grown-ass woman."  I love anything Troy and Abed do.  I love that people come to find Jeff in the bathroom, and then some nerd finds Britta in there.  I love that Malcolm Jamal Warnar guest stars as Shirley's ex-husband, and I really love when Jeff compliments Andre's sweater and Andre responds "My dad gave it to me."  Precious.
     An overall review of this episode is tough for me.  I just want to say "squueeee" and "hearts."  I loved it.  I love all of them, it doesn't matter what they do.  I think they have wonderfully developed characters, and they tell good stories.  I couldn't remember how Jeff knew Rich, but I was actually glad that they didn't tell me.  I knew they had met last season, and that was good enough to get me through the story.

Parks and Recreation. It was like hanging out with an old friend again.  They did a recap at the beginning and I sort of wanted them to just get to it, but then I remembered not everyone watches it with as much regularity as I do.  It was almost perfect.  Poor Jerry.  I think it's hilarious how mean they are to Jerry.  It seems to be for no reason, but also, there's probably a damn good reason.  Leslie throws his beautiful painting into the lake.  Later, for no reason, she takes his coffee out of his hand and throws it in the trash.  He's trying to be the one positive person when Ben tells the department they will be in maintenance mode and everyone just yells at him: "Jerry!"  Greatness.
     I love Andy Dwyer.  He's so sweet and clueless.  "If you're trying to tell me something, I don't know what it is, because you won't call me back."  Chris Pratt nails that character.  I love the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.  Ron Swanson is awesome.  I also love how we know Lucy is pissed at Tom, even though we only saw her for about a nano-second.
     The one part where I got a little squishy is when Leslie starts to going on about the plan and she blames it on Ann.  I felt like she could have covered it better.  It works itself out, kind of, so it was ok.  I suppose it forces Ann to talk to Chris, and admit to him she likes him.  And she admits why she went along with it, and that makes her seem like an even better person.  It was sweet and honest: "Leslie came up with the idea, and I love her, so I went along."  Simple.  Ok, I feel better about it now.

     "Our budget's been slashed to zero. I tried to buy fertilizer the other day for the soccer field... request denied. We literally can't buy shit."  It's hilarious, and I like that she uses literally correctly.  If you try to look up the best quotes from the episode, you end up reading the script.    And if you try to discuss all your favorite scenes with your friend over G-Chat, you pretty much recount the entire episode.  It's great.  Watch it.  Go Big or Go Home.

30 Rock.  I wonder if or how the new time slot will change the show.   But I shouldn't think about that part too much.  I agree with Liz and her new years resolution: "Yes to staying in more!"  Classic mix-ups are great, and I love that they accidentally got married.  It seems like some people think that Jack and Liz should end up together, but they shouldn't.  I was a little confused as to why it had to be divorce papers and not an annulment, but I guess that's just semantics really.  There were papers to be signed, and that was leverage.  Everyone had some sort of marriage troubles.   
     I also heart Cheyenne Jackson's character, Danny.  I wish he were around more, though I do like that Kenneth pointed out they just forgot he still worked there.  Awesome.  It's also great when he slips into his Canadian accent just a little bit.  I like how Liz doesn't actually know what's going on with them, so when Jenna makes a declarative statement about marriage and Danny or whatever it is, Liz and Pete just kind of assume it's Jenna being crazy.  There's a simple "huh" and they move on.
     Again, attempting to review the episode just makes me want to watch it again.  The scene where Liz goes on TV to announce a $5 million donation to NY Public Schools was fantastic.  "We know what art is.  It's paintings of horses."  (Side note:  I really enjoyed when Jack calls Liz Elizabeth.  It was pitch perfect.)  And the voice!  The voice!  "What was that voice?" "That was my imitation of Drew Barrymore's impression of that crazy lady."  Awesome.  "Your plan worked, I fired her and brought up slavery."  "I knew I could count on you."  "This isn't my first rodeo."  "I've been to a rodeo too.  It was a cat rodeo.  In a gay guy's apartment."  I love their back and forth and their one-up-manship.  I also really like Sherri Shepherd as Angie Jordan.  That show would be a massive hit!  
     I am probably unable to give a fair review of 30 Rock.  I will always think anything it does is hilarious.  Tina Fey is a comic genius, so if there is a joke I don't laugh at, it's because I'm stupid.  It's been said before, and it's true: she could shit in a bucket and I'd think it was hilarious.  And it would be too.  

The rest of the Thursday night line up (Perfect Couples, The Office, and Outsourced) don't get reviewed.  Perfect Couples is new; I'm not convinced yet.  It's decent filler though, and gives me time to get a snack.  I've lost interest in The Office, though I'll watch it now that it's between shows and since it's Steve Carell's last season.  Eff Outsourced.  I don't watch it.  I pretend nothing at all happens in the world after 30 Rock is over.

The Epitome of Laziness

     I like to use a planner.  It keeps me organized and on point.  It also, however, gives me permission to be the laziest bag of ass ever.  Ten pounds of lazy-ass in a five pound bag.  When there is nothing written in my planner, nothing at all gets done. 
     I had written in the fun times that were scheduled for Friday night, and those went off without a hitch.  I had scribbled in basic nonsense for Saturday and Sunday.  "Clean" was Saturday's task, and "make tarts for work" was Sunday's.  With a full forty-eight hours at my disposal, these two tiny tasks were inconsequential.
     Turns out, my couch is pretty comfortable, and snacking on a giant bowl of popcorn and M&Ms throughout the day will first satisfy hunger pains, and then make me ill, thereby rendering more food preparation unnecessary.   The very vague "clean" tasker meant I could just pick something up, and maybe wash it, and check that off my list.  Being vague clears the path to laziness.  My mother is coming to visit on Thursday, so in my planner for Wednesday I wrote "make the apartment sparkle."  Clearly, this requires more effort.
     I was able to finish watching and rewatching a lot of my favorite things.  I finished up the first season of Laverne & Shirley.  It was good to see it again, and I'm mildly interested in seeing how the rest of it panned out- it seems to hit a better stride the more it pulled away from its spin-off roots.  But I'm not willing to fill up my queue with the next seven seasons of it.  I'm aware they eventually move to L.A. and that Shirley leaves to be a hooker or something.  I get the gist and the tone of the show, so I'll move on.  I also watched all of the episodes of Parks&Rec and 30 Rock with commentaries on them.   My new favorite saying is now "he can put butter on my butt and bite it."  Thanks, Tina Fey. 
     As it turns out, a full day of doing nothing can be pretty exhausting, so I ended up turning in pretty early.  I think I fell asleep listening to Christmas songs while I was trying to read a book.  I perhaps reread one sentence five times and drifted off. 
     Sunday required a bit more activity, but I managed to stretch it out over several hours.  Coffee and Saturday Night Live for breakfast- a great way to start the day.  Eventually I had to head to the worst place in the world: the grocery store.  I picked up the appropriate ingredients and then I took several hours to make treats that should have taken about an hour to make.  Patience is the key, though.  Oh, and a box of Macaroni and Cheese with peas mixed in makes a fantastic lunch.  I followed it up with pot stickers, Zombieland, and the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Christmas episode. 
     I didn't plan for this weekend's theme to be laziness, but I certainly welcomed it with open arms.  And then I wrapped it around me like a blanket and took a nap in it. 
    

Weekends In The Theater

     This past weekend, I went to see a few films in the theater.  I've been wanting to talk about them with almost everyone (interesting) I talk to, but I do hate to spoil things for people.  If you look into my eyes during these moments, you can see how badly I just want to burst out with "and then they looked right at the sun and all died."
     I've been holding onto these for a few days now- it's only Wednesday, or it's already Wednesday, depending on your point of view.  The point is, I want to talk about them now!  I imagine this would be a great opportunity to utilize that new spoiler tag code ~M and I talked about here and here.

I Love You Phillip Morris

     Finally, this movie was released in theaters. There was quite the tale behind its release, as described in this New York Times article: Jim Carrey Stars in 'I Love You Phillip Morris.' It finally got a release date in the U.S., though it was limited. I was initially disappointed, but luckily it came to a theater near me just a week later.
     I love Jim Carrey movies. I may be willing to concede a few aren't great, but I enjoy his work a little more than I really should admit. This was a great film, and a great role for him. Also, he's been getting a lot of the attention, being the leading role, but Ewan McGregor also turned in a fantastic performance.
The film is the true story of Steven Russel, a great con-man. I was going to say the greatest con-man ever, but I don't know nearly enough about con-men to make that call. He's also gay, and he's awesome. He's a little bit smarter than those around him, but actually, just a little bit. Not a hyperbolic little bit. He doesn't get away with all of his schemes. He does get away with some good ones, and for a decent amount of time, but he does always get caught. And it's hilarious.
    I imagine there was the potential to take the source material and turn it into a drama- a melodrama even. There could have been emotional realizations and tense court room scenes. But where's the fun in that?
He faked his own death, and brilliantly. He didn't pull out his teeth and push a car over a cliff. He actually faked dying from AIDS. It doesn't seem like it should be funny, but it is.
     I wouldn't recommend this movie to my mother, but I would recommend it to someone who actually likes good, funny, interesting movies. It's unfortunate that it took so long to get released. I overheard another movie patron say on the way out of the theater that "Jim Carrey was really brave for taking the role." I suppose I hadn't thought about that. I suppose he was. Though I didn't think about it because he played it so well, I didn't really see Jim Carrey up there, I saw Steven Russel. I don't know the rules for award nominations, but I think this one is out of the running for anything based on its unlucky timing. Again, it's unfortunate, because it was a good story, well told, and told hilariously.

Black Swan

     All of the hype is pretty much right. My first comment was "Holy Shit." As the end credits started rolling, a lovely woman in front of me stated "I think Nina was the one who was crazy." No shit lady.
     It was quite a ride. I had never seen a Darren Aronofsky film before. I don't have a good reason for it, and it's actually a source of shame for me, since I was a film major. I should see his work. I was, however, able to understand what he was doing with the camera, and why he was doing it. Black Swan was reminiscent of classic Polish film, and even more so of Polanski's Repulsion. Not for its subject matter, but for its style. (Aronofsky is not a Polish filmmaker, nor did he attend the famed Lodz. However, he did go to Harvard, and I would bet at least a quarter he studied a few Polish films. Also, my comparison of Black Swan to classic Polish film is mostly pompous film student gibberish.)
     I don't like the hand held camera style, but I understand it. And here, Aronofsky clearly had a purpose for it. The camera stayed close to her, often just over her shoulder, and often on close ups. This forces us to stay with her the entire time, and be inside her breakdown as it happens. We don't get a picture of the story from other points of view. We don't really see how others see her; not from their point of view anyway, only from their reactions to her. A small distinction, but a distinction nonetheless. As the camera stays close to her, the audience gets this feeling that at any moment, someone could be standing just around the corner, or right behind her. If she turns around- oh, god, no, don't turn around! What could be there? What could be there? Her paranoia becomes ours.
     As Nina attempts to transform into the Black Swan for her role of a lifetime, she pretty much literally transforms into the Black Swan. I may be alone on this (I haven't asked others how they feel), but in her final performance, I really wanted to see her dance the shit out of that Swan. Yes, I realize it made her crazy. That's why I wanted to see it. I wanted the crazy to be for a reason. If she went crazy and then fell off the stage and never got to dance, well, then, pooh. Boring. However, being bat-shit nuts and being awesome, that's the proverbial middle-finger to all those nay-sayers. Ha! Ha! I'm crazy, and I'm awesome, and I'm dead! Wait, maybe that last part wasn't so awesome. Except that it was.
     There was one review I read that stated "Aronofsky is a master at making beautiful movies you never want to see again." Again, this is the first one I've seen, but I totally get that statement. I really liked this movie. I would recommend people see it. I would not, however, go with them to see it again. My blood-pressure can't take it.

The Social Network

     This was my second viewing of The Social Network. A friend of mind hadn't seen it yet, and it's a movie good enough to see more than once in the theater, so I went along.
     At first glance it's hard to see how a movie about Facebook can be interesting, or good. I admit, when I first heard the rumors about it, I wanted to pack it in for the human race. We must be out of ideas! But then good things started to happen- Aaron Sorkin was writing it, and David Fincher was directing. Then, THEN, I saw the trailer. Well, this was going to be great.
     I think it lives up to the hype. It actually is a very interesting story, and it is well told. My complaint about it doesn't actually have anything to do with the 120 minutes worth of film- it's the discussion it sparks afterwards. Usually, I'd say a movie that makes people talk is a good thing. But usually, it's because it will get people talking about the themes and society and change, blah blah blah. However, both times I left the theater, the conversations I overheard were all about what was true and what wasn't true within the movie.     Five seconds into the credits rolling and people wanted to discredit the entire thing because "the part about the girl isn't true." Who cares if the part about the girl isn't true? The part about the girl made it an interesting story, and humanized this character who otherwise is a calculating genius monster. (Monster genius? Both a monster and a genius.) It creates a beautiful bookend to the story, and the story wasn't really over. Some jackass in the theater this time around yelled "nooo" at the screen when Zuckerberg friend requested the girl. Unfortunately, people laughed at this, giving the jackass a false sense of confidence, and he repeated it when Zuckerberg hit refresh.
     I get the part about the girl was made up, but I don't care. I also get that Mark Zuckerberg didn't fucking call Aaron Sorkin and say "so, here's what happened." Aaron Sorkin had the interesting task of writing a story about a person who is still very much alive, in the public eye, all without using life rights. He was constrained by laws; he wrote his movie about the law suits because those are within the public domain and he could get the rights to those. And then there's a whole mess of other legal stuff about whose story you can tell, whose you can't, and what stuff you can make up. I don't really know a lot about that part, but I bet Aaron Sorkin does. Aaron Sorkin is no fool- he's not just going to make shit up about Mark Zuckerberg. At least not shit he can't get away with, like making up a girlfriend who dumps Mark Zuckerberg as an inciting incident. Boom.
     It's a good movie. I don't know if everyone who has seen it is picking it apart; I think it's just a knee jerk reaction to want to find a hole in something awesome, or to prove you know something about the truth. I'm not sure. But put all of that aside. Good story, well told.
     As far as how my mother would feel about it, because I think that's been a theme of this post so far: she would say she wouldn't get it because she's not on Facebook. That's sort of like saying you wouldn't understand Apollo 13 because you've never been to the moon. The Social Network isn't really about Facebook. You don't have to understand one damn thing about it. I suppose it helps to understand that computers are a way for people to communicate now. Other than that, your lack of social networking will not hinder your enjoyment of this film.

What I Watched at Home

I mentioned some of this earlier this week, and I don't think talking about Home Alone can be considered a spoiler anymore, but I wanted to stick with the format. So here we go!

Home Alone: A holiday classic. You'll never guess what happens: An eight year old boy gets left home alone by his parents at Christmas. Luckily, none of the awful things that could potentially actually happen to kid left at home for several days happened, and he just had to beat up a few nasty robbers to defend his house. Would it happen in reality? Probably not. Does that actually help make it better? Yes. This is also a well structured film, and we studied this in screenwriting. I was the awesome person who knew all the answers when the professor would ask "and then what did Kevin do?"


Parks and Recreation: In season 2, the holiday episode is the one titled "Christmas Scandal." It's hilarious. It's only a little bit about Christmas, it mostly just happens during Christmas time. But in the end, the gang waits for Leslie to light the town Christmas tree, and it's just so very sweet.

30 Rock: The second season of 30 Rock introduces us to "Ludachristmas." It's wonderful. Andy Richter guest stars as Liz's brother Mitch. Elaine Stritch guests as Jack's mother. When I'm an old lady, I want to be like Elaine Stritch. They all go ice skating at Rockefeller Plaza, and Jack's mom tears a giant hole in the perfect fabric that was once the Lemon Party. Yes, the Lemon party. I said it. "It wouldn't be a Lemon party without old Dick." Thank you, 30 Rock, for giving us lines like that on TV.

The Christmas Spirit

     After Community's spectacularly awesome stop-motion animated Christmas special, I started thinking about all Christmas episodes, specials, and movies.  I briefly considered ranking them, but my ranking system is skewed to a degree that would not provide a fair assessment.  Community's episode is the best, followed by all the 30 Rock Christmas episodes, then the X-files Christmas episode with Lilly Tomlin and Ed Asner, and the Ellen episode for her short lived second sit-com, with Mary Tyler Moore and again, Ed Asner.  So, not really a full representation of Christmas episodes.  I'm sure folks more widely versed than me will provide a better, more complete, Christmas viewing ranking system.
     However, thinking about it did make me want to watch those episodes as a way to inject myself with some of the Christmas spirit.  The four Christmas movies I own are Home Alone, Elf, Love Actually, and Bad Santa.  Every year I forget that I don't own Christmas Vacation.  It's a classic, and I somehow end up watching it every year.  Which I guess is how I forget that I don't own it.  I should.  I also have Home Alone 2: Lost in New York because it's part of a multi-pack.  It was implied.
     I love Bad Santa, though admittedly it is both polarizing, and not a family friendly film.  I wouldn't sit down and watch it with my mother.  Of course, I don't watch most things with my mother, but that's another story.  I think if you find the opening soliloquy funny, you can get behind the movie.  If you find it distasteful, you should probably just go make some gingerbread cookies in the other room and skip this one all together.
     Love Actually is more of a modern day Christmas movie.  It happens around Christmas, so it ends up being about Christmas, but it's not purely about Christmas.  Well, it is I suppose.  A few of the stories seem to happen too quickly, but all in all, at the end of it, you're left feeling good about Christmas.
     Home Alone is a classic.  It replaced whatever crappy kid Christmas movie there was before it.  I don't even know what it was called, nor do I care.  I love this movie.  I watched it this weekend while putting up my own tree.  It has some great lines in it, like when Kevin was upset because he can't pack his own suitcase and the cousins are talking about it in front of him.  "What was I supposed to do, shake his hand and say 'Congratulations, you're an idiot.'?"  Brilliant.
     Just thinking about Elf puts a smile on my face.  I love every bit about it.  Often, I get turned off by the idea that Santa is real.  More so when TV shows plant some sort of supposed miracle and then we hear off camera the sound of bells and maybe a ho-ho-ho and we're all supposed to believe in the magic of Santa.  That's drivel, and I hate it.  However, creating a world where Santa just exists and sticking to it, and making it awesome, that I can get behind.  "I know him, I know him!"  And of course, making Ed Asner be Santa also helps.  I think this is the one with the most all out Christmas Spirit.
     I appreciate when TV shows do Christmas episodes, and sometimes it can be difficult because they are frequently on hiatus close to the holiday.  The first and second weeks of December are typically the time for Christmas themed episodes.  Then, the Christmas specials come rolling in.  One of my favorites is the inevitable SNL Christmas special.  It's usually the same holiday sketches from the past years, with a new host and one or two new things thrown in.  And I love it.  I'm quite over Rudolf and a Charlie Brown Christmas, though I understand why they're important to the shared conscious of the viewing public, and therefore I support their airing.  Various musical genres often put on holiday spectaculars, which I think are shadows of what they must be live.  And they're probably only mediocre live.  Every city has a tree lighting, and if your city is large enough (DC, or NYC) it'll be televised, and also supported by musical acts. I guess it's nice, in theory, but still, watching a tree light up on TV just can't be as good as watching it live.
     There's one Christmas episode I left out of that initial list: The Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Christmas episode.  That was great.  It just slipped my mind for a second, but I think Hulu plays it over the holidays.  It belongs in my list of top Christmas things to watch. 

The Blank Page Is Intimidating

     Even in blogger, the blinking cursor and blank white space taunt me.  Often what works for me is to just get started, regardless of what it is.  Just get a few lines typed out, and when the page isn't blank, it isn't so scary anymore.  This is why I don't let people read my outlines, or worse yet, the journal entries that lead up to the idea for the outlines.  They are riddled with ridiculous non sequiturs, sentence fragments, and lists of foods I want to eat.
     And now that that's out of the way, I can talk about what I really wanted to talk about!  It's a little personal, and writing it out makes me feel a little vulnerable, but I'm going for it anyway.  I finished writing the first draft of my pilot.  I acknowledge it's only the first draft, and there is work still to be done, but writing "END OF SHOW" at the end felt good.  And then I drift off the place of fantasy and dreams and I think someday, and someday soon, this'll get picked up.  Why wouldn't it?  This script is meant to be realized on television, and I am meant to be its show runner.   There may be a few obstacles, but they are insignificant.   Most of them can be solved my moving.  I let myself steep in that fantasy land for a while because if I believe in it, it has a greater chance of coming true.
     Yesterday, my package from Amazon arrived- Parks and Recreation Season 2, Modern Family Season 1, 30 Rock Season 4, and the 30 Rock Soundtrack (Collector's Edition).  Happy Chanukah to me!   I tore open that box with the fervor of a five year old.  I read the 30 Rock Soundtrack liner notes book from cover to cover and immediately put it in my computer.  I watched the special features for both Modern Family and Parks&Rec, including the Season Three sneak peek.

I'm so excited for season three. I want a copy of the Ron Swanson Pyramid. I'll post it on my wall, and use to to become a perfect human.

      This actually took a little longer than I expected, but it was totally worth it. Laundry can always be put off another day.  I put on an episode of Arrested Development while getting ready for bed, and then to safely take me to dream land, I listened to, yes, the 30 Rock Soundtrack.
     I'm not necessarily a hard core dreamologist (I made that up, because I don't know what it would be called), but I do understand that dreams are formed from what is in one's subconscious.  Sometimes, the subconscious isn't as far down there as one might have thought.  I had the most wonderful dream where I met Tina Fey, somehow at her house, where she seemed to be expecting me to be there, yet I was not expecting her.  There was a multi-layered surprise that my friends (or apparently mutual friends?) had set up, and I ended up under dressed for attending the Oscars with Tina Fey, but we had become fast friends when I made her a cake.  I also tripped over her, but she was very gracious about it, assuming partial blame for being in the way, and asked to read my script.  About the time my head was going to explode in the dream, something woke me up.  I wanted so very badly to stay in that dream.  And again, I don't usually put a lot of credence in my dreams, but this one I want  to hold onto forever.  Maybe this time, this one means something.

Settling Into Fall

     Finally, the heat wave seems to have broken, long sleeves and jackets are appropriate, and the sun is setting earlier and earlier.  Fall is here, and I have settled on my television viewing schedule.  I was going to go day-by-day, but I actually use the term schedule pretty loosely, and since I TiVo most everything, I don't usually watch when they actually air.  Therefore a day-by-day account would be an inaccurate representation of how I actually spend my time.

How I Met Your Mother.  It airs on Monday night, and I TiVo it.  I spent so much time catching up on all of the seasons, I now feel obligated to keep watching it.  This season is picking up, and I do find myself laughing at some of the jokes like I did in the earlier seasons.  I particularly enjoyed the "Later tonight, a New York architect gets punched in the throat." Cut to: Robin punching Ted in the throat.  That was a good joke.  I do, however, still find Ted to be the most insufferable character.  I still love Barney, though sometimes the sameness of his jokes gets to me.  It's as though he doesn't even believe in the things he's saying anymore, he's just saying them because he thinks a guy like him would say them.  Marshall and Lily are great; they're the real reason to watch actually.  So I'll keep watching so my massive DVD watching wasn't in vain.  Or until something better comes along.

Raising Hope.  Tuesday nights, a lead in to Running Wilde.  I'll watch this until something better comes along.  Again, it's not not funny, so it's worth the TiVo space, however, I don't save the episode once I've watched it.  It perhaps pokes fun at people who are deemed trashy, but it shows that trashy is more of a perception, or that it is at least relative.  The Halloween episode was pretty good, though not surprising.  Is it funny that Bert pretended to take Hope to the fire station drop off so he could fake retrieve her to get a good hug from his son?  Yes.  Did the audience figure out this is what was going to happen approximately two seconds after someone said "fire-station drop-off?"  Also yes.

Running Wilde.  I TiVo it and watch it live.  This is a show I often pause in the middle of to finish laughing.  And often I rewind it to hear (or see) the joke again.  The news on the wire is that it is in danger of cancellation.  I wrote a letter to Fox pleading to give it a chance.  It just needs to find an audience.  Perhaps it's too subtle for the average Neilson box-having television viewer.  Maybe without laugh tracks and zany stereo-types indicating and indicating, people just don't know what to think.  But this show is brilliant.  I love it. 

Parenthood.  Tuesday nights, TiVo.  I would love to watch it live, but I just can't stay up that late.  I truly love this show.  I love its subtleties, and how right it is, even when maybe the characters are doing the wrong thing.  I like how they talk about everything, except not really.  They start the argument and then end it, sometimes with a resolution and sometimes not, but it's always very real.  Worlds don't end every time there's a disagreement.  They learn and grow just a little bit, like people actually do, but often they resort back to their old behavior, like people actually do.  Peter Krause and Lauren Graham carry the show, but it is ultimately an ensemble.  That is to say that without everyone else, you couldn't just have the Peter and Lauren show.  Or if you did, it would be very different.  Mae Whitman is adorable, in that teenage angsty sort of way.  If you think back on all of Mae Whitman's roles, she has quite the range.  The characters aren't stereotypes, and it would be easy to make some of them be so, since there are so many of them.  And I love the houseboat- I want to live in Crosby's houseboat.

Modern Family.  This is one of the best written comedies on TV.  I'm quoting myself from a few weeks ago, but it's true.  It's sharp and funny.  It's great to see a second season come out swinging and not lose any of the brilliance from the first.  I also like that they didn't inappropriately age anyone [Lily] just to attack the cute kid angle.  Baby Lily is great the way she is.  Plus, it's not really about her.  And I think shows stopped doing that in the 80s.

Cougar Town. The show has been making fun of itself for its awful title.  Eh, I think it's being too hard on itself.  They should just say its ironic now.  This show is full of heart and great characters.  When people ask what it's about, I say the characters.  The sit in this sit-com is that they exist.  Sitcom is kind of a catch all phrase/dirty word now a days anyway.  But that's a discussion for a different time.  The point is I like this show.  It is funny.  It made the cut for fall viewing.

Community.  I don't make plans for Thursday nights because of Community and 30 Rock.  I also TiVo them, and save all of the episodes.  I pop a big bowl of popcorn and settle in for Thursday nights.  Community is great.  It's sharp and funny and has heart.  Also, it gets ruined when you hear others talking about it the next day, so it's best to watch it live.  The same second season props from Modern Family are applicable to Community.  I started to worry about how they would continue the show with the same characters since its a community college and things like that end.  They solved that problem nicely at the end of season one by all taking Anthropology together.  I hope there are enough basic requirement classes left in Greendale's curriculum to keep the show going for a  few more years.  I don't think they're on the semester system since one semester took 9 months.  But who's to say- I never went to community college.  Maybe that's how they roll.

30 Rock.  I have a hard time expressing in words just how much I love this show.  As mentioned above, I clear my Thursday nights.  I watch this live and TiVo it.  I use the special "do not delete this EVER" feature.  At 9, when it's over, I watch it again.  I tend to take it personally if people don't like it.  I think it's smart and funny.  I think this season so far is amazing.  They don't abuse their guest stars too much, and they get some really good ones.  Paul Giamatti?  Brilliant.  Kelsey Grammer as Kelsey Grammer?  Awesome.  Their live episode was a lovely treat for loyal fans; I've been singing the new words to the theme song for weeks.  A few critics had said last season was a little off, and even though I disagree, if it were true, season five is definitely its call for redemption.  Thursday nights are special.  Don't call me, I won't answer.

The Whole Truth. I don't usually watch legal dramas, or procedurals.  So much so that I'm not sure exactly what genre this show is.  I think it's on Wednesdays.  It's one I TiVo and watch later, usually on Saturday mornings with eggs and coffee.  I like Maura Tierney and Rob Morrow.  They're fun to watch.  I read the show was on the chopping blocks.  That's unfortunate, but mostly just because I would like to see Maura Tierney do well, not because it would be a blow to television or American culture.  It's only about 5 episodes in now, and it's already getting into dangerous "how crazy and twisted can this shit be" territory.  It's the thing I don't generally like about dramas.  The audience has to continually be shocked by how horrific things are, and dramas just pile it on.  But I digress.  My point is I watch it.  If it gets canceled, I won't.  I also won't look for a legal procedural to fill the hole.

The Good Guys.  It's on Friday nights, so occasionally, I do watch it live, because I'm cool like that.  Last weeks episode was lack-luster, but I have hope it will regain its shineyness this week.  This is a show that often sits in my TiVo for a while before being watched though.  I like it enough to give it space, but it's not the first thing resting on my mindgrapes.

Detroit 1-8-7.  Initially, this show lost the time slot battle with Parenthood (for me, not according to ratings, or anything official).  I still stand by my actions, and I will continue to record Parenthood.  However, upon urging from a friend, I decided to watch this on Hulu.  I had read the recap and wasn't impressed; it's amazing how much just can't come through in a recap.  I was wrong.  This is a great show.  I watched all five episodes on Hulu.  And even though I won't give up the TiVo space, I now make an appointment with Hulu to watch this show.

That is approximately seven and a half hours worth of television.  Other than Saturday Night Live, I don't watch things that air on the weekend.  I used to be all about Fox's Sunday night line up, but I got bored with it, and lost the patience to squeeze it into my week.  Recently I took a survey that asked how much TV I watch per week.  I thought I watched a lot, but when looking at the choices, I realized maybe it wasn't all that much.  The top option was "over 20 hours" followed by "18 - 20 hours."  Mathematically, I can see how it would work out: 3 hours of prime time per weeknight, plus a football game or tennis match.  But good god, when would we eat?  Oh right, while watching TV.  Hm.  Well, perhaps I'm abnormal then.  Again, a discussion for a whole other day.

Live Things

I have mentioned my love for 30 Rock before, so perhaps it seems as though I am biased when discussing it.  Although, I don't see why liking something creates a bias.  It doesn't actually. I would be biased if I had given birth to it, not because I like it.  I like it because it is good.  So, moving on.

A live episode is a tricky thing.  Going live is exciting because you never know what's going to happen.  It's exciting for the people who are actually doing the live thing- the performers, the crew, and the live / studio audience.  (I think those terms are vague enough to cover everyone involved.)  It is also exciting for the television audience, but it is less palpable.  And frankly, the better the performers and crew are, the less exciting it can be for the television audience. (Especially if you don't understand why it's exciting.)

The trick here is the performers and crew do not want to screw up.  They are professionals, and to them, knocking it out of the park is hitting every line, every mark, and every joke.   That is what is exciting for them.  They get that awesome feeling, and it's an energy that is palpable to the live audience, and is dulled a bit when it is translated through wires and tubes through the magic of television.

Television audiences tend to be simpletons.  They love to see the mess ups.  They want to watch professionals screw up.  I don't know why; maybe it's a reminder that celebrities are human and schadenfreude is the greatest emotion ever, maybe it's because we're all jerks. I admit, I love the Debbie Downer sketch when everyone breaks.  I watch it over and over, and I laugh and laugh. 

It can be a vicious circle, the whole laughing at people breaking thing.  It's funny, so we laugh, but it can also ruin the rest of the finely scripted material, and then we're disappointed.  (And by we I mean the simpletons, not me.)  When it's perfect, the questions of "why do it live?" can be raised.  When it's not perfect, we ask "why did they do it live?"

There are several reasons putting on a live episode of a show that is not normally live is tricky.  One of them is timing.  30 Rock is a single camera show with a style that is derived from that choice.  The pitch perfect timing and pace of it comes from the brilliant writing and acting, and it also comes from the editing.  It's a process.  It's done so well, that on a week to week basis you don't notice how well it's done.  Editing is one of those things that is only noticed when done poorly.  It's not done poorly on 30 Rock, so you don't notice it.  So when you take the editing process away, the pitch perfect timing falls solely on the writers and the performers.  I think it was done perfectly.

Another reason: the medium.  30 Rock is shot on 35mm film.  35mm film is beautiful.   Tomes have been written about the awesome superiority and beauty of 35mm film.  It makes a person feel good.  Live shows cannot be shot on 35mm film.  I shouldn't have to explain any further.  (If you don't get it, take about 5 seconds to think about it.  If you still don't get it, please don't breed.)  Live shows use different cameras, a different medium.  I don't know this for sure, but I would imagine they used HD video cameras and it is possible they also used studio television cameras.  Either way, it's not film, and it produces a different look.  And as with so many things in film, this look is translated to a feeling.  That first frame hits you and you're shaken a bit, because this is not the 30 Rock you're used to watching.  But it's ok.  It's just a little different; it's special.

The live episode was very meta, and beautifully executed.  Here is where I would like to simply list superlatives to describe the show, as though I were giving it an award: expertly conceived, brilliantly written, skillfully acted, superbly directed.  I could go on, but I don't want to oversell it.  *If I ever write about things that are meta, this episode will be a good reference. 

I've read a few negative comments about it, and to those naysayers, I say: you're wrong.  I think the naysayers just don't get it. They're confused by so many things and can't sit back and enjoy the magic that's happening in front of them. 

I could continue, but for Mary's sake, I'll give it a rest.  Again, I love 30 Rock more than I love my mother, so I have a lot to say about it.  However, this does not make me biased. (*wink*)