Snow Day

     We had half a snow day yesterday.  The snow had started a bit earlier than forecasted, and maybe there was a little bit more than predicted.  Maybe.  It was not a lot of snow, but people were concerned about the roads, because they were not properly treated.  It's always about the roads.
     Since I take public transportation, and I'm not afraid of snow,  I didn't really need to take advantage of the snow day.  However, since they don't pass out medals for being the only one sitting in the office, I took it.
     I figured today would be just like any other, but I did hold on to a glimmer of hope that perhaps the city just couldn't handle the snow.  I lay in bed and listened to the radio, foolishly hoping it got much much worse outside over night.  It didn't.
     It feels as though this snow day was simply to commemorate the first snow of the season.   I have no real problem with that.

Weekends In The Theater

     This past weekend, I went to see a few films in the theater.  I've been wanting to talk about them with almost everyone (interesting) I talk to, but I do hate to spoil things for people.  If you look into my eyes during these moments, you can see how badly I just want to burst out with "and then they looked right at the sun and all died."
     I've been holding onto these for a few days now- it's only Wednesday, or it's already Wednesday, depending on your point of view.  The point is, I want to talk about them now!  I imagine this would be a great opportunity to utilize that new spoiler tag code ~M and I talked about here and here.

I Love You Phillip Morris

     Finally, this movie was released in theaters. There was quite the tale behind its release, as described in this New York Times article: Jim Carrey Stars in 'I Love You Phillip Morris.' It finally got a release date in the U.S., though it was limited. I was initially disappointed, but luckily it came to a theater near me just a week later.
     I love Jim Carrey movies. I may be willing to concede a few aren't great, but I enjoy his work a little more than I really should admit. This was a great film, and a great role for him. Also, he's been getting a lot of the attention, being the leading role, but Ewan McGregor also turned in a fantastic performance.
The film is the true story of Steven Russel, a great con-man. I was going to say the greatest con-man ever, but I don't know nearly enough about con-men to make that call. He's also gay, and he's awesome. He's a little bit smarter than those around him, but actually, just a little bit. Not a hyperbolic little bit. He doesn't get away with all of his schemes. He does get away with some good ones, and for a decent amount of time, but he does always get caught. And it's hilarious.
    I imagine there was the potential to take the source material and turn it into a drama- a melodrama even. There could have been emotional realizations and tense court room scenes. But where's the fun in that?
He faked his own death, and brilliantly. He didn't pull out his teeth and push a car over a cliff. He actually faked dying from AIDS. It doesn't seem like it should be funny, but it is.
     I wouldn't recommend this movie to my mother, but I would recommend it to someone who actually likes good, funny, interesting movies. It's unfortunate that it took so long to get released. I overheard another movie patron say on the way out of the theater that "Jim Carrey was really brave for taking the role." I suppose I hadn't thought about that. I suppose he was. Though I didn't think about it because he played it so well, I didn't really see Jim Carrey up there, I saw Steven Russel. I don't know the rules for award nominations, but I think this one is out of the running for anything based on its unlucky timing. Again, it's unfortunate, because it was a good story, well told, and told hilariously.

Black Swan

     All of the hype is pretty much right. My first comment was "Holy Shit." As the end credits started rolling, a lovely woman in front of me stated "I think Nina was the one who was crazy." No shit lady.
     It was quite a ride. I had never seen a Darren Aronofsky film before. I don't have a good reason for it, and it's actually a source of shame for me, since I was a film major. I should see his work. I was, however, able to understand what he was doing with the camera, and why he was doing it. Black Swan was reminiscent of classic Polish film, and even more so of Polanski's Repulsion. Not for its subject matter, but for its style. (Aronofsky is not a Polish filmmaker, nor did he attend the famed Lodz. However, he did go to Harvard, and I would bet at least a quarter he studied a few Polish films. Also, my comparison of Black Swan to classic Polish film is mostly pompous film student gibberish.)
     I don't like the hand held camera style, but I understand it. And here, Aronofsky clearly had a purpose for it. The camera stayed close to her, often just over her shoulder, and often on close ups. This forces us to stay with her the entire time, and be inside her breakdown as it happens. We don't get a picture of the story from other points of view. We don't really see how others see her; not from their point of view anyway, only from their reactions to her. A small distinction, but a distinction nonetheless. As the camera stays close to her, the audience gets this feeling that at any moment, someone could be standing just around the corner, or right behind her. If she turns around- oh, god, no, don't turn around! What could be there? What could be there? Her paranoia becomes ours.
     As Nina attempts to transform into the Black Swan for her role of a lifetime, she pretty much literally transforms into the Black Swan. I may be alone on this (I haven't asked others how they feel), but in her final performance, I really wanted to see her dance the shit out of that Swan. Yes, I realize it made her crazy. That's why I wanted to see it. I wanted the crazy to be for a reason. If she went crazy and then fell off the stage and never got to dance, well, then, pooh. Boring. However, being bat-shit nuts and being awesome, that's the proverbial middle-finger to all those nay-sayers. Ha! Ha! I'm crazy, and I'm awesome, and I'm dead! Wait, maybe that last part wasn't so awesome. Except that it was.
     There was one review I read that stated "Aronofsky is a master at making beautiful movies you never want to see again." Again, this is the first one I've seen, but I totally get that statement. I really liked this movie. I would recommend people see it. I would not, however, go with them to see it again. My blood-pressure can't take it.

The Social Network

     This was my second viewing of The Social Network. A friend of mind hadn't seen it yet, and it's a movie good enough to see more than once in the theater, so I went along.
     At first glance it's hard to see how a movie about Facebook can be interesting, or good. I admit, when I first heard the rumors about it, I wanted to pack it in for the human race. We must be out of ideas! But then good things started to happen- Aaron Sorkin was writing it, and David Fincher was directing. Then, THEN, I saw the trailer. Well, this was going to be great.
     I think it lives up to the hype. It actually is a very interesting story, and it is well told. My complaint about it doesn't actually have anything to do with the 120 minutes worth of film- it's the discussion it sparks afterwards. Usually, I'd say a movie that makes people talk is a good thing. But usually, it's because it will get people talking about the themes and society and change, blah blah blah. However, both times I left the theater, the conversations I overheard were all about what was true and what wasn't true within the movie.     Five seconds into the credits rolling and people wanted to discredit the entire thing because "the part about the girl isn't true." Who cares if the part about the girl isn't true? The part about the girl made it an interesting story, and humanized this character who otherwise is a calculating genius monster. (Monster genius? Both a monster and a genius.) It creates a beautiful bookend to the story, and the story wasn't really over. Some jackass in the theater this time around yelled "nooo" at the screen when Zuckerberg friend requested the girl. Unfortunately, people laughed at this, giving the jackass a false sense of confidence, and he repeated it when Zuckerberg hit refresh.
     I get the part about the girl was made up, but I don't care. I also get that Mark Zuckerberg didn't fucking call Aaron Sorkin and say "so, here's what happened." Aaron Sorkin had the interesting task of writing a story about a person who is still very much alive, in the public eye, all without using life rights. He was constrained by laws; he wrote his movie about the law suits because those are within the public domain and he could get the rights to those. And then there's a whole mess of other legal stuff about whose story you can tell, whose you can't, and what stuff you can make up. I don't really know a lot about that part, but I bet Aaron Sorkin does. Aaron Sorkin is no fool- he's not just going to make shit up about Mark Zuckerberg. At least not shit he can't get away with, like making up a girlfriend who dumps Mark Zuckerberg as an inciting incident. Boom.
     It's a good movie. I don't know if everyone who has seen it is picking it apart; I think it's just a knee jerk reaction to want to find a hole in something awesome, or to prove you know something about the truth. I'm not sure. But put all of that aside. Good story, well told.
     As far as how my mother would feel about it, because I think that's been a theme of this post so far: she would say she wouldn't get it because she's not on Facebook. That's sort of like saying you wouldn't understand Apollo 13 because you've never been to the moon. The Social Network isn't really about Facebook. You don't have to understand one damn thing about it. I suppose it helps to understand that computers are a way for people to communicate now. Other than that, your lack of social networking will not hinder your enjoyment of this film.

What I Watched at Home

I mentioned some of this earlier this week, and I don't think talking about Home Alone can be considered a spoiler anymore, but I wanted to stick with the format. So here we go!

Home Alone: A holiday classic. You'll never guess what happens: An eight year old boy gets left home alone by his parents at Christmas. Luckily, none of the awful things that could potentially actually happen to kid left at home for several days happened, and he just had to beat up a few nasty robbers to defend his house. Would it happen in reality? Probably not. Does that actually help make it better? Yes. This is also a well structured film, and we studied this in screenwriting. I was the awesome person who knew all the answers when the professor would ask "and then what did Kevin do?"


Parks and Recreation: In season 2, the holiday episode is the one titled "Christmas Scandal." It's hilarious. It's only a little bit about Christmas, it mostly just happens during Christmas time. But in the end, the gang waits for Leslie to light the town Christmas tree, and it's just so very sweet.

30 Rock: The second season of 30 Rock introduces us to "Ludachristmas." It's wonderful. Andy Richter guest stars as Liz's brother Mitch. Elaine Stritch guests as Jack's mother. When I'm an old lady, I want to be like Elaine Stritch. They all go ice skating at Rockefeller Plaza, and Jack's mom tears a giant hole in the perfect fabric that was once the Lemon Party. Yes, the Lemon party. I said it. "It wouldn't be a Lemon party without old Dick." Thank you, 30 Rock, for giving us lines like that on TV.

I Am My Own Worst Enemy

     I'm overselling it just a bit, but in all honestly, I probably am, based simply on the fact that I'm not of enough consequence of anyone else to be considered their enemy.  The alternate theme of this post is "damn you auto correct."  In my case, spell check has gotten to me again.  Moreover, the fact that every single person in the world feels compelled to remind you: spell check doesn't find the errors that are actually words.
     I hate when I make these errors, though I think I may beat myself up about it more than others do.  The one that nearly made me spit-take my coffee this morning was when I noticed my error within a reply.  I had written "...the Mater Planning Schedule."  Spell check didn't correct it, because apparently mater is a word. 

ma·ter

[mey-ter]

–noun, plural -ters, -tres

1.British Informal . mother¹ .

2.the backing holding the movable parts of an astrolabe.

 And for further edification on that:

as·tro·labe

[as-truh-leyb]

–noun

an astronomical instrument for taking the altitude of the sun or stars and for the solution of other problems in astronomy and navigation: used by Greek astronomers from about 200 b.c. and by Arab astronomers from the Middle Ages until superseded by the sextant.

I was sending a "Master Planning Schedule," not whatever the hell a mater planning schedule would be.  (Also, I admit, I was a bit convinced the dictionary was just going to tell me "short for tomato.")  I felt foolish when I read the reply to my email and saw my error.  I think it was over looked by the recipient, however, and the response was simply a Thank You.  In the grand scheme of things, this one typo didn't really matter; I was just really embarrassed.
     Not as embarrassed as I am when I mistype below as blow, however.  Often, when summarizing something, I begin an email with "Sir, Below is the ..." and then write what the thing is.  But about 9 out of 10 times, I type blow.  It's probably only funny to me, because I have the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy.  But I think, wouldn't it be funny if I wrote back "Sir, Blow me."  It would funny for about the amount of time it took space to transmit that email from my computer to sir's computer.  And then it would immediately stop being funny.  I imagine there would be yelling, and probably a law suit.  So I stay extra vigilant for that typo.
     Another odd typo I make often is misspelling the word initiative.  When I misspell it in a certain way (often initative- missing the third i), spell check warns me with its red underline.  However, this particular misspelling is not recognized by spell check to resemble initiative; instead it offers me imitative.  I understand why it offers that- it is just one letter off.  But I've almost ruined other peoples ideas by calling them imitative instead of initiatives. 
     There are those, and I tend to be one of them, who find these blatant errors unforgivable.  It's a matter of rereading and proofreading.  As much as most will concede these mistakes can happen, they should happen between you and your computer, lest you be admonished by your readers.  It's not even that people won't understand you, it's that they will see you as simple-minded and careless.  This is the whole basis for my self- loathing and the declaration of being my own worst enemy.  I want to hold myself to that higher standard, but sometimes I've been looking at the same sentence for so long, I see what I think it says reads instead of what it actually does.  It happens on here quite a bit, too.  I get overcome with excitement for the idea, and I don't notice I've left out a word, or added a word for no reason.  It's generally not written so poorly it can't be deciphered, but that's hardly the point.  I would prefer to not have to be deciphered.  So I beat myself up over these mistakes, look up the new word I've discovered via spell check over look, and smugly correct others when I find their mistakes.
      Ooh, I think I just figured out who may consider me their enemy.

Trimming the Tree Sounds Dangerous

     To piggy back on yesterday's post, I shall continue talking about the Christmas spirit.  Along with watching various Christmas themed movies and television shows, I also decided to get a tree this year.   This isn't the first tree I've ever had, but I also don't consistently have trees.  I didn't get one last year, but the year before my roommates and I chipped in for one.  We put some pretty random ornaments and a whole mess of lights.
     I had no particularly strong feelings either way about getting a tree this year.  My mother is coming to me for the holidays this year, so after that decision was made, I did think I should do something to make the apartment appear to be more of place where people actually live, rather than the labyrinth-like dungeon it currently resembles.  A few lights and candy dish could probably suffice.  Then Community reminded us that "music and cookies and liquor and trees" is what Christmas is for, and I all of a sudden had strong feelings about getting a tree: yes.
     I got a small tree from an elementary school playground that had been temporarily (I assume) transformed into a Christmas tree lot.  The proceeds from the tree somehow produced playground equipment or books or something to help children learn better.  Plus, they delivered.  And even though I only live five blocks from this particular lot, if I don't have to carry a tree five blocks, I'm not going to.
     I used the time between purchase and delivery to get the necessary tree accessories.  Let me fast forward to many hours later, after the tree is set up and lit and beautiful in my living room.  I'm on the phone with my mother, telling her about the tree, making sure she's not allergic to real trees- we always had artificial when I was growing up, and I assumed it was due to allergies, be it to pine or happiness.  She confirmed she had no allergies, and did actually enjoy real trees.  Then she stopped short and said "Did you have a tree stand?!"
     She used the same tone you would use when accusing someone of drowning your puppy.  Now, admittedly, prior to purchasing the tree, I did not already own a tree stand.  However, it is one of those necessary tree accessories I just mentioned.   So, basically, my mother either thinks that a.) I'm an idiot and have just leaned the tree against the wall and/or 2.) there were a limited supply of tree stands made in the early 80s and if you didn't get one then, you are out of luck.  I still think it's a bit of both a and 2, because she seemed surprised when I simply said "I bought one."  I thought we had moved passed the tree and were on to another topic when she shouted "you have to water it!"  She must really wonder how I don't just wander into traffic every day.
     I have very little affinity for ornaments, and even less so for storing ornaments, so i only have two on the tree.  They were gifts from a good friend many years ago.  It doesn't bother me at all.  I like it.  This does, however, bring us to another tree decorating conversation I had with a dear friend of mine.  I'll call her Blauri, to protect the innocent.

Blauri: Do you want to make sugar cookies and put them on your tree?

Me: Is that real?

Blauri: Yes.  Then you just throw them away.  And it's cheap. You can do cranberries too.

Me: That sounds good.

Blauri: I could come over and help.

Me:  Yeah, we can make cranberries and popcorn.

Blauri: I didn't say popcorn.

Me: I know, I did.  I want popcorn.

Blauri: To go with the cookies?

Me: What cookies?

So, now I shall have a fully trimmed tree with mostly food on it.  The conversation also devolved into a made up tradition of putting various cuts of meat on trees, and my true age was revealed when Blauri suggested Thursday night, and I responded with a bit of hesitation and "well, I think my shows will all be reruns, so that should be ok."  I am apparently an 80-year-old woman.  The good news was that 20 minute fit of uncontrollable laughter shaved time off the ab workout we were going to do.  
     Yay Christmas spirit, and music, and cookies, and liquor, and trees.       

The Christmas Spirit

     After Community's spectacularly awesome stop-motion animated Christmas special, I started thinking about all Christmas episodes, specials, and movies.  I briefly considered ranking them, but my ranking system is skewed to a degree that would not provide a fair assessment.  Community's episode is the best, followed by all the 30 Rock Christmas episodes, then the X-files Christmas episode with Lilly Tomlin and Ed Asner, and the Ellen episode for her short lived second sit-com, with Mary Tyler Moore and again, Ed Asner.  So, not really a full representation of Christmas episodes.  I'm sure folks more widely versed than me will provide a better, more complete, Christmas viewing ranking system.
     However, thinking about it did make me want to watch those episodes as a way to inject myself with some of the Christmas spirit.  The four Christmas movies I own are Home Alone, Elf, Love Actually, and Bad Santa.  Every year I forget that I don't own Christmas Vacation.  It's a classic, and I somehow end up watching it every year.  Which I guess is how I forget that I don't own it.  I should.  I also have Home Alone 2: Lost in New York because it's part of a multi-pack.  It was implied.
     I love Bad Santa, though admittedly it is both polarizing, and not a family friendly film.  I wouldn't sit down and watch it with my mother.  Of course, I don't watch most things with my mother, but that's another story.  I think if you find the opening soliloquy funny, you can get behind the movie.  If you find it distasteful, you should probably just go make some gingerbread cookies in the other room and skip this one all together.
     Love Actually is more of a modern day Christmas movie.  It happens around Christmas, so it ends up being about Christmas, but it's not purely about Christmas.  Well, it is I suppose.  A few of the stories seem to happen too quickly, but all in all, at the end of it, you're left feeling good about Christmas.
     Home Alone is a classic.  It replaced whatever crappy kid Christmas movie there was before it.  I don't even know what it was called, nor do I care.  I love this movie.  I watched it this weekend while putting up my own tree.  It has some great lines in it, like when Kevin was upset because he can't pack his own suitcase and the cousins are talking about it in front of him.  "What was I supposed to do, shake his hand and say 'Congratulations, you're an idiot.'?"  Brilliant.
     Just thinking about Elf puts a smile on my face.  I love every bit about it.  Often, I get turned off by the idea that Santa is real.  More so when TV shows plant some sort of supposed miracle and then we hear off camera the sound of bells and maybe a ho-ho-ho and we're all supposed to believe in the magic of Santa.  That's drivel, and I hate it.  However, creating a world where Santa just exists and sticking to it, and making it awesome, that I can get behind.  "I know him, I know him!"  And of course, making Ed Asner be Santa also helps.  I think this is the one with the most all out Christmas Spirit.
     I appreciate when TV shows do Christmas episodes, and sometimes it can be difficult because they are frequently on hiatus close to the holiday.  The first and second weeks of December are typically the time for Christmas themed episodes.  Then, the Christmas specials come rolling in.  One of my favorites is the inevitable SNL Christmas special.  It's usually the same holiday sketches from the past years, with a new host and one or two new things thrown in.  And I love it.  I'm quite over Rudolf and a Charlie Brown Christmas, though I understand why they're important to the shared conscious of the viewing public, and therefore I support their airing.  Various musical genres often put on holiday spectaculars, which I think are shadows of what they must be live.  And they're probably only mediocre live.  Every city has a tree lighting, and if your city is large enough (DC, or NYC) it'll be televised, and also supported by musical acts. I guess it's nice, in theory, but still, watching a tree light up on TV just can't be as good as watching it live.
     There's one Christmas episode I left out of that initial list: The Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Christmas episode.  That was great.  It just slipped my mind for a second, but I think Hulu plays it over the holidays.  It belongs in my list of top Christmas things to watch. 

Ask and ye shall receive

     Earlier this month, I mentioned watching the Sneak Peak of season three of Parks & Rec.  Then in a covered up spoiler, I mentioned I wanted a poster. 
     And now I have it: The Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.  

Things that get lost in a move

     I can't find my Elf CD.  The last place I remember seeing it was in my car, when I lived in Boston.  I have to start dealing with the fact that it's probably gone forever.  Oddly enough, I have the case.
     I also can't find my big plastic cups.  I had a small collection from baseball stadiums and restaurants, and I used them as my water cups.  I stayed plenty hydrated and didn't have to get up to refill as often. They were great.  Now I can't find them.  They're not really worth looking for, and there is a good chance they just didn't make it.  I was making snap decisions while packing and trying to pare down as much as possible.  It would make sense I would leave these things behind. 
     But man, missing the Elf CD really stings.