Sketches are taking shape. I'm super excited about two sketches that are taking shape right now--one for each show. In the first one, I get to eat a lot of pancakes and syrup on stage. In the other, there will be a lot of Jell-O smashing. Seriously, life is pretty amazing right now.
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Thursday, February 21, 2013
I'm Writing A Show About It
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Meeting with Beers
Show Journal cont...
Deadlines are hard, especially when they're self-imposed. The team set a date for our next meeting and we all promised to have at least one new sketch and one rewrite. For me, these deadlines are hard because they seem easy at first. Oh, I have two weeks to write all these things! That's so much time! Then I stare at a blank page for 13 days. And then shame seeps in.
Cribbage We learned to play cribbage. An essential element that we're working on is this abstract group mind concept. We're not forcing it; luckily we like spending time together anyway. So at our last meeting, Dan brought over his cribbage board and taught us all how to play. So now we all have that in our back packets. If we're ultimately not very funny, we can play cribbage together.
A Director We got ourselves at least a part time director. We weren't quite sure what the appropriate time to bring in a director was, but we took a shot and went with now. And maybe we'll take a little time sans director to work on things and then bring him back when the show is closer to complete. But it was successful because it got us all on the same page and brought in an outside view--someone who was not so emotionally connected to the material--to say yes, no, that works, that doesn't, what the hell, and yeah, more abortion jokes.
Two Shows We're still working on two shows at once. This is ill-advised, but fuck it, we like both of them too much to put one on hold for now. As we move forward, one may emerge as the more immediate show. When that time comes we'll pour all of our energy into that. And then when that one is as awesome as it can be and successful and gets a full run, a sitcom, and a movie spin off, then we'll come back and give the second show the same treatment.
A Name We need a name. This will take weeks and week and about 300 emails in a chain before we settle on one. But it's a fun process.
Fun. The band. No, not really. But this all very fun, even though it's hard work. WE keep working towards something and that's food. We're not aimless and that has been the most rewarding part. Having new material and even rehashing old material and getting everyone in on the same joke and being able to pitch half-ideas and watch them blossom into fully formed sketches that we all champion because it's a part of all of us is amazing. Maybe this is how having a non-bratty child feels, but less drunk.
Beers We met with beers and pizza and chips and guacamole. This might be unprofessional. Or, it might be exactly what a writer's room is supposed to look like. I've heard the advice "perform like you're one beer in." I assume this extends to writing as well. And that it should be expanded to two beers.
Deadlines are hard, especially when they're self-imposed. The team set a date for our next meeting and we all promised to have at least one new sketch and one rewrite. For me, these deadlines are hard because they seem easy at first. Oh, I have two weeks to write all these things! That's so much time! Then I stare at a blank page for 13 days. And then shame seeps in.
Cribbage We learned to play cribbage. An essential element that we're working on is this abstract group mind concept. We're not forcing it; luckily we like spending time together anyway. So at our last meeting, Dan brought over his cribbage board and taught us all how to play. So now we all have that in our back packets. If we're ultimately not very funny, we can play cribbage together.
A Director We got ourselves at least a part time director. We weren't quite sure what the appropriate time to bring in a director was, but we took a shot and went with now. And maybe we'll take a little time sans director to work on things and then bring him back when the show is closer to complete. But it was successful because it got us all on the same page and brought in an outside view--someone who was not so emotionally connected to the material--to say yes, no, that works, that doesn't, what the hell, and yeah, more abortion jokes.
Two Shows We're still working on two shows at once. This is ill-advised, but fuck it, we like both of them too much to put one on hold for now. As we move forward, one may emerge as the more immediate show. When that time comes we'll pour all of our energy into that. And then when that one is as awesome as it can be and successful and gets a full run, a sitcom, and a movie spin off, then we'll come back and give the second show the same treatment.
A Name We need a name. This will take weeks and week and about 300 emails in a chain before we settle on one. But it's a fun process.
Fun. The band. No, not really. But this all very fun, even though it's hard work. WE keep working towards something and that's food. We're not aimless and that has been the most rewarding part. Having new material and even rehashing old material and getting everyone in on the same joke and being able to pitch half-ideas and watch them blossom into fully formed sketches that we all champion because it's a part of all of us is amazing. Maybe this is how having a non-bratty child feels, but less drunk.
Beers We met with beers and pizza and chips and guacamole. This might be unprofessional. Or, it might be exactly what a writer's room is supposed to look like. I've heard the advice "perform like you're one beer in." I assume this extends to writing as well. And that it should be expanded to two beers.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
A Show Journal
My writing partner Dan turned me on to the idea of show journals. There are several different formats out there; there is no right or wrong way to do it. The idea is simply to journal about the creative process. And in this case, we're journaling on the internet, where everyone can read it.
The beginning: We formed a team. I just said Dan is my writing partner, and that's not entirely true. Dan and I are on a team with great aspirations. We met in Sketch 101 class. We fell out of touch, but then back in touch. We would get together with a few other aspiring sketch writers and drink coffee, read sketches, eat burgers, drink beers, and laugh it up. It was all very nice.
Right after the beginning: I had a hand full of sketches that were all pretty taboo. I loved them dearly, but there was clearly a pattern developing. At one point someone brought up the idea of a writing a show. We feigned to love the idea but we knew we didn't have the material. Then, about six weeks ago, I said "you know, I'd like to alienate about 12 people for 32-minutes with a show all about abortions." Dan, Sara, and Patrick were all on board. This kind of support feels amazing, by the way.
I rattled through the abortion sketches I already had and put a few new pitches in my back pocket. Off to the writing board for me. That very same day Dan presented an idea for his show. Sara, Patrick, and I were all on board. Yes, we believe we can write two very different shows at the same time.
Where we're at now: I'm working on broadening the world of my show. It gets "repeaty" and "samey;" it needs a stronger theme. Choices? Empowerment? Women's rights? Reproductive rights? I'm the head writer for this show, so I need to figure this part out before our next meeting.
Dan's show has morphed from "Curious, MO" to "Pancake Day." I'm thinking of a few pitches for this show as well. Dan is the head writer for his show, so we'll see if he likes any of these ideas. He sent us the program from the real Pancake Day, and it was amazing and thought churning. First of all, the program was 16 pages long. There's a pitch growing from that fact right now.
Next steps: We have a meeting after the new year. We've set goals for ourselves and we better damn meet them. Personally, I'm convinced it'll all come together when I get my new Chromebook. So come on Google, get to making more so I can finally be productive.
EDITED TO ADD: 1. Email chains are amazing. 2. I like that Dan consistently starts with the poster and tagline of a show/sketch/idea and then works backwards.
The beginning: We formed a team. I just said Dan is my writing partner, and that's not entirely true. Dan and I are on a team with great aspirations. We met in Sketch 101 class. We fell out of touch, but then back in touch. We would get together with a few other aspiring sketch writers and drink coffee, read sketches, eat burgers, drink beers, and laugh it up. It was all very nice.
Right after the beginning: I had a hand full of sketches that were all pretty taboo. I loved them dearly, but there was clearly a pattern developing. At one point someone brought up the idea of a writing a show. We feigned to love the idea but we knew we didn't have the material. Then, about six weeks ago, I said "you know, I'd like to alienate about 12 people for 32-minutes with a show all about abortions." Dan, Sara, and Patrick were all on board. This kind of support feels amazing, by the way.
I rattled through the abortion sketches I already had and put a few new pitches in my back pocket. Off to the writing board for me. That very same day Dan presented an idea for his show. Sara, Patrick, and I were all on board. Yes, we believe we can write two very different shows at the same time.
Where we're at now: I'm working on broadening the world of my show. It gets "repeaty" and "samey;" it needs a stronger theme. Choices? Empowerment? Women's rights? Reproductive rights? I'm the head writer for this show, so I need to figure this part out before our next meeting.
Dan's show has morphed from "Curious, MO" to "Pancake Day." I'm thinking of a few pitches for this show as well. Dan is the head writer for his show, so we'll see if he likes any of these ideas. He sent us the program from the real Pancake Day, and it was amazing and thought churning. First of all, the program was 16 pages long. There's a pitch growing from that fact right now.
Next steps: We have a meeting after the new year. We've set goals for ourselves and we better damn meet them. Personally, I'm convinced it'll all come together when I get my new Chromebook. So come on Google, get to making more so I can finally be productive.
EDITED TO ADD: 1. Email chains are amazing. 2. I like that Dan consistently starts with the poster and tagline of a show/sketch/idea and then works backwards.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Bird by Bird. Not Quite a Review.
I'm not much of a re-reader. I recognize that I've read the sentences before, and then I skim over them, in search for something new. I've kept Bird by Bird next to my bed for reference for a while though. I often intend on re-reading, but it of course never happens. However, sometimes I feel like just flipping through it can retransmit the good advice it contained through me, through osmosis.
I remember that I really liked Bird by Bird. I've recommended it to many friends. I also use it as an answer to interview questions. Some people like to hear that you can multi-task, but I believe the research that posits multi-tasking produces substandard work, and therefore I tackle my work bird by bird--one task at a time. Also, multi-tasking can mean different things to different people, and the right kind of person appreciates the bird by bird approach to multiple tasks.
I remember that Bird by Bird was sad and funny. In 2005, I was also sad and funny, so it was right up my alley. The friend who gave it to me was neither sad nor funny, and it was up his alley too, so I think it's safe to say it can speak to anyone. It had good advice for being a writer. It also had good advice for running power plants and making movies, things I continue to waft between.
It's a National Bestseller and it's not very long, so I recommend it. It gets five stars (out of five) in my mind. It's also a book I know a lot of my friends have. I've accused them of stealing my copy. Apparently all of us aspiring writers, moviemakers, and power plant runners read the same book--that must be how it became a bestseller. Also, multi-tasking is not always a virtue. Sometimes it produces shitty work. Just think about it.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Lists and Repetition
When I write, I write a lot of lists and I repeat myself a lot. I write a lot of lists and I repeat myself a lot. I get listy and repeaty. The lists help make sure I'm not just taking the first idea; a list of ideas help flush the bad ones away and the let good ones float to the top. Repeating myself helps me stay focused on the truth of the matter; saying something many times helps flesh out the character and the situation.
I use these techniques differently for different formats. When writing a sketch I use many more lists, and much more wildly. If the nugget of the idea is hairy things, then I make a list of as many hairy things as possible. Hopefully within that list, and in the process of making it, I come across the hairy thing that should really be the star of the sketch. There are times the first thing on the list is the best, or the most fitting. But why limit yourself to the first thing you think of? The first thing I thought of just now when writing hairy things was a kiwi. The second was gorilla balls and the third was mold. Three very different sketches really.
I use the repeaty technique more in longer form writing. It didn't start off as a technique, it started off as an irritating habit where I couldn't remember what I had just written about a character or a situation. But now I use it to maintain focus on the truth of the matter. Sometimes characters get away from us. Or we start to forget what the story is really about. We get wrapped up in the fun we're having with characters, quirks, situations, wild settings, and all the robots. I mean, of course we do, those are all fun things. So in order to make sure I haven't had the kind of fun that completely ruins the story or character, I'll repeat myself a little bit.
I'll think of the impetus of the story--what is the heart of what's going on--and I'll summarize it into a sentence or two. In the middle of the ramblings at the start of my writing process, where I'm really having a lot of fun with the quirks and the robots, I'll repeat that sentence. Does it still check out? Is the heart of the matter still true even with all that fun? Yes? Great, I will keep at it. No? Well, then, I need to think a moment. In that case the fun may have gotten too muddy or the heart of the matter may have changed. Then I can go in for readjustments.
Really, it's just a simple check I use to make sure I'm staying, err, consistent with my characters, stories, etc. It's not an end-all be-all. And I realize that my terse description of it makes it sound like I'm not leaving room for change, or growth, blah blah. But that's not it at all. Sometimes the impetus of the story is "she just really wants to do the right thing." That doesn't mean she doesn't do the wrong thing sometimes, but it does mean she probably doesn't knife people in alleys for tennis shoes or stick gum under desks. And if she does start doing those things, I need to figure out why. Maybe the why is the story and I should keep going. It's possible she knifed the guy for good reason. That would also be a good place for a list--reasons for knifing a guy in an alley.
It also means she's probably not a cat person, so if she ends up with a cat somewhere down the road, it's a clear inconsistency in her character. If you want to do the right thing, you own a dog. If you have a flagrant disregard for morality, you own ferrets and uncaged cockatiels.
I use these techniques differently for different formats. When writing a sketch I use many more lists, and much more wildly. If the nugget of the idea is hairy things, then I make a list of as many hairy things as possible. Hopefully within that list, and in the process of making it, I come across the hairy thing that should really be the star of the sketch. There are times the first thing on the list is the best, or the most fitting. But why limit yourself to the first thing you think of? The first thing I thought of just now when writing hairy things was a kiwi. The second was gorilla balls and the third was mold. Three very different sketches really.
I use the repeaty technique more in longer form writing. It didn't start off as a technique, it started off as an irritating habit where I couldn't remember what I had just written about a character or a situation. But now I use it to maintain focus on the truth of the matter. Sometimes characters get away from us. Or we start to forget what the story is really about. We get wrapped up in the fun we're having with characters, quirks, situations, wild settings, and all the robots. I mean, of course we do, those are all fun things. So in order to make sure I haven't had the kind of fun that completely ruins the story or character, I'll repeat myself a little bit.
I'll think of the impetus of the story--what is the heart of what's going on--and I'll summarize it into a sentence or two. In the middle of the ramblings at the start of my writing process, where I'm really having a lot of fun with the quirks and the robots, I'll repeat that sentence. Does it still check out? Is the heart of the matter still true even with all that fun? Yes? Great, I will keep at it. No? Well, then, I need to think a moment. In that case the fun may have gotten too muddy or the heart of the matter may have changed. Then I can go in for readjustments.
Really, it's just a simple check I use to make sure I'm staying, err, consistent with my characters, stories, etc. It's not an end-all be-all. And I realize that my terse description of it makes it sound like I'm not leaving room for change, or growth, blah blah. But that's not it at all. Sometimes the impetus of the story is "she just really wants to do the right thing." That doesn't mean she doesn't do the wrong thing sometimes, but it does mean she probably doesn't knife people in alleys for tennis shoes or stick gum under desks. And if she does start doing those things, I need to figure out why. Maybe the why is the story and I should keep going. It's possible she knifed the guy for good reason. That would also be a good place for a list--reasons for knifing a guy in an alley.
It also means she's probably not a cat person, so if she ends up with a cat somewhere down the road, it's a clear inconsistency in her character. If you want to do the right thing, you own a dog. If you have a flagrant disregard for morality, you own ferrets and uncaged cockatiels.
Monday, January 9, 2012
I Know Shit
You know, there is some shit that I know about. And damn it, if you ask for my help on stuff, I'm gonna tell you about the shit. And just because you didn't know I knew the shit, it doesn't make the shit less relevant. Consider yourself lucky that you asked someone who knows so much shit for help. Because not only do I know some shit, I'm pretty god-damn humble about it. That's why you didn't know about all the shit I know--'cause I'm fucking humble.
Also, it just so happens that I can remember a lot of shit too. I happen to know the names of the three main cast members of The Big Bang Theory--Jim Parsons, Johnny Gilecki, Kaley Cuoco--even though I do not watch the show. I can also remember specific things about The X-Files; I could still write a graduate-level thesis about the Mulder and Scully relationship and its importance to the show and the franchise. My knowledge of these topics does not make me an idiot.
But I digress.
Also, it just so happens that I can remember a lot of shit too. I happen to know the names of the three main cast members of The Big Bang Theory--Jim Parsons, Johnny Gilecki, Kaley Cuoco--even though I do not watch the show. I can also remember specific things about The X-Files; I could still write a graduate-level thesis about the Mulder and Scully relationship and its importance to the show and the franchise. My knowledge of these topics does not make me an idiot.
But I digress.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Me + Soapbox
As my mini-bio states, I consider myself to be many things. I have a background in engineering, and I also want to be a writer. I suppose I am a writer. I write, so I'm a writer. I love this unique perspective I have on being in both worlds. At the same time, I think it's kind of bullshit that it is a unique perspective.
A friend of mine asked for my opinion regarding a certain "technical guy" she was working with and his lack of English skills. The specific issue was how he misused a/an every time. In essence, she was asking how I feel about engineers' supposed lack of composition skills. My response was as follows:
A friend of mine asked for my opinion regarding a certain "technical guy" she was working with and his lack of English skills. The specific issue was how he misused a/an every time. In essence, she was asking how I feel about engineers' supposed lack of composition skills. My response was as follows:
Well, I hope you're ready for a novella- I have a lot of opinions on this. Actually, I have one very strong opinion on this.She responded with "you + soapbox = MY FAVORITE." I assume she will read my response to him at their next meeting.
I think it's complete bullshit for engineers to not have a firm grasp on the English language. There is no excuse for it, no matter what any of them say. Understanding math, physics, and engineering does not preclude someone from understanding basic sentence structure. People use being smart in one thing as a crutch for not being functional in another.
At U-M, all (well, most) engineering classes were coupled with a technical communication component. As we entered the College of Engineering, we were put in a course colorfully referred to as "English for Engineers." This was a class that taught composition of technical reports. Writing technical reports is different from writing rhetoric or proving Hamlet was crazy all along. The point is, we were all taught about the importance of communication. Good engineering principles don't have resonance if they can't be explained clearly and concisely.
The idea that an engineer is excused from knowing how to write, especially very basic things, is antiquated and lazy. It offends me. The a/an principle is a basic piece of grammar from elementary school. We're not talking about finer point of style, turning phrases, or nuanced definitions of words people rarely use. The difference between a/an is simple. And clearly, that was not a typo. It's a gap in knowledge, and frankly it's a gap I have no patience for.
When I hear someone defend their gaps in knowledge with "well, I'm an engineer" I immediately call bullshit. People don't wake up just knowing how to engineer things. They read about them, in books. These books are not just full of equations and drawings. They are presented in the same way any book would be, with complete sentences, articles, nouns, verbs, and prepositions. (I did that on purpose to end my sentence in a "preposition!") But apparently when genius engineers are reading, they're not taking any of it in. Somehow it doesn't translate.
The most offensive bit of the entire argument is that knowing how to write well is perceived as a weakness. The engineers I have come across in my short career have the idea that the engineers will do the heavy lifting, and then someone else will shiny it up with words. They don't think writing is hard. They may be willing to admit they can't do it, but they'll say it's because it's a waste of their time. They don't have time to be bothered with trivial things like sentence construction.
Since I've started here, people have come to recognize me as a writer of sorts; they give me the speeches and awards, and coworkers will ask me to look over drafts of things. And then they find out I have a background in engineering and their brains melt out their ears. If I'm good at one, how could I be good at the other? Or, even worse, why would I bother with the other? If I know how to run a nuclear power plant, why do I bother keeping The Elements of Style at my desk? Clearly, the two are unrelated, and one of them is not important. (Sorry, slight divergence.)
Engineers who cannot write sink back into the old archetype as a safety net. They use it to hide their insecurities. Engineers should know how to write. At a minimum, they should be trying. People's egos get in the way when it comes to grammar. Common usage is a shit excuse. If an engineer says "well, you know what I was talking about, so it doesn't matter that I used the wrong effect/affect," a part of me dies inside. I made it a bit of a personal crusade to be good at both things; I wanted to build a rocket and be able to tell people how I did it. There should be more shame in not doing that.
So to sum up, I think your Technical guy on the contract is an asshat. For his sake, I hope he's civilized enough to accept constructive criticism, learn the lesson, and keep it in his wheelhouse. Again, being an engineer, or a "technical person" does not preclude someone from knowing how to write a simple sentence. It's arrogance, and it's lazy. It's lazy arrogance.
I'll be here on my high horse all day if you have any further questions.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Cover Letters Are Hard
A dear friend of mine (no really) has been job hunting recently. It ain't easy. I've had many conversations about this with several friends, actually. It's such a grind, and at times, it can seem hopeless. I blame part of this to the new way we find jobs. When I was 15 looking for a job, I walked into McDonald's and asked for an application. I was able to fill it out entirely, which put me at the head of the pack.
Even a few years ago, I was looking for a part time job for some spending money and to get out of the house. I was walking through my hometown and went into the movie theater. There was an old crone standing behind the counter. "Are you hiring any part time help?" I asked. She then asked how old I was and what the deal was with my limp- two questions I know an employer is not allowed to ask. But still, beside the point. I just walked in and asked, and I got the job.
Now, as adults, we have to write resumes and CVs and cover letters. And we have to submit them over the internet. We don't even get to mail it in, or look at the person we're submitting to. Really, we don't know where the hell any of this stuff goes.
The resume or CV can be tricky, and it seems like the rules are always changing. There are constantly Yahoo! articles about "What not to put on your resume." The gist: never lie, but don't tell the truth. Make yourself sound good, but not too good or they'll think you're arrogant. Don't leave breaks in employment, but don't write down times you were unemployed.
For my friend, the most daunting part has been the cover letter. And I wholeheartedly agree. You find a job you think you'd be perfect for. Your skills line up to the desired qualifications listed. Perfect. "All I have to do is write this cover letter" you think to yourself. And then twenty minutes passes and you're staring at a screen that reads "Dear Hiring Manager," on it. Ugh. What can you possibly say? In the end, you play it safe; you write about your qualifications in a way that was not covered in your resume and you tailor it to the job at hand. And when you don't get called back, you wonder if you should have played it so safe.
For example, my friend applied for a job at Groupon. She wrote these two same cover letters:
She didn't send either of them, but you have to wonder what response you would get if you did.
I had applied for a position at TWoP and considered using this:
Professionals recommend always keeping your resume and cover letter up to date, just in case. My just-in-case cover letter:
Even a few years ago, I was looking for a part time job for some spending money and to get out of the house. I was walking through my hometown and went into the movie theater. There was an old crone standing behind the counter. "Are you hiring any part time help?" I asked. She then asked how old I was and what the deal was with my limp- two questions I know an employer is not allowed to ask. But still, beside the point. I just walked in and asked, and I got the job.
Now, as adults, we have to write resumes and CVs and cover letters. And we have to submit them over the internet. We don't even get to mail it in, or look at the person we're submitting to. Really, we don't know where the hell any of this stuff goes.
The resume or CV can be tricky, and it seems like the rules are always changing. There are constantly Yahoo! articles about "What not to put on your resume." The gist: never lie, but don't tell the truth. Make yourself sound good, but not too good or they'll think you're arrogant. Don't leave breaks in employment, but don't write down times you were unemployed.
For my friend, the most daunting part has been the cover letter. And I wholeheartedly agree. You find a job you think you'd be perfect for. Your skills line up to the desired qualifications listed. Perfect. "All I have to do is write this cover letter" you think to yourself. And then twenty minutes passes and you're staring at a screen that reads "Dear Hiring Manager," on it. Ugh. What can you possibly say? In the end, you play it safe; you write about your qualifications in a way that was not covered in your resume and you tailor it to the job at hand. And when you don't get called back, you wonder if you should have played it so safe.
For example, my friend applied for a job at Groupon. She wrote these two same cover letters:
Dear Groupon,
I'm ______ and I'm awesome. As you can see from my resume, I'm capable of putting up with as much bullshit as can possibly be thrown around. Seriously. The Navy? Government Contracting? The Government? It was bullshit city and I was the parade marshal for pride week.
Also, I have excellent computer skills, such as forwarding emails and assembling power point presentations. I am a firm believer in your company because I too like to hang out with my friends but not have to pay full price for it.
Given the opportunity, I'm sure I can excel with your company and together we can take it to the next level- global networking. That's not a thing yet, right?
Remember, I'm awesome.
Hearts, _____
Dear Groupon,
I want to work for you. Get me out of this place. Windy City! The Bears! I know a lot of words.
_____
She didn't send either of them, but you have to wonder what response you would get if you did.
I had applied for a position at TWoP and considered using this:
I can be a bit of a cunt, but it looks like you would appreciate my cuntish, no bullshit kind of humor.A job opened up at Thomspon-Rueters. I didn't apply, because I have no idea what they do. But in the same vein:
Love,
Nancy
Dear Thompson-Rueters,
I'm a bit of a cunt, but I think my no bullshit attitude are just what you need. Yes, I will take a corner office, thank you.
Nancy
Professionals recommend always keeping your resume and cover letter up to date, just in case. My just-in-case cover letter:
Dear Hiring Director,If I were a hiring manager, I would hire whomever it was that sent these to me. This may be why I am not a hiring manager.
I would be awesome at this job. Seriously. I only require about 4 hours of sleep a day- the rest of the time I can be at work.
I am one of the only people in my current office who can construct a sentence. I know the definition of a lot of words, and even more importantly, when I don't know the definition, I do not proceed to use them in high-level documents.
My current boss frequently calls me into his office to help with tasks in Microsoft Word. Tasks such as deleting a text box that falls outside of the margins and changing the default reading mode. He doesn't ask anyone else- he specifically seeks me out for these Word emergencies.
I've done a lot of different things before and all of these jobs make me great at any future job. I listen really well; I take direction better than a 6-year-old on his (or her) dad's (or mom's) tee-ball team.
And also, not that I'm desperate, but I will DO ANYTHING. Really. Anything. I have a very low moral code. I mean, I won't steal, but there's not much else that's off limits. Mostly, it's about the job though.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Regards, Nancy
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Leaving Notes All Over
It's a pretty common thing among writers, to leave notes all over in different place. We long for one place to keep them all, but realistically, this never happens. I recently started to use Evernote as a way to try to make it happen, however. I tell everyone about it. It's a great program, and I only use it to its minimum. If I used it to its maximum, I'd be amazing. But the gist of Evernote is that it's a cloud based program that allows you to jot down notes on your computer or on your phone (or possibly others things) and it synchs them, so you always have all your notes.
There are times when I have a fleeting idea and it's nice to open the app on my iPhone, write in the sentence, and then come back to it later, at home, in front of my computer. (It takes less time than finding a pen and opening my journal and then trying to read the horrific handwriting because I was on the bus at the time.) There are times when I'm searching for ideas; when I just don't know what to write about, and I'll scroll through Evernote, looking for those one or two sentence gems, hoping to spark a fire.
I did that today, and I found this:
I'd like to give myself a little credit for titling the note Things you can't say but other than that, I have no idea why I wrote this down. Also, this was the only thing in the note. And of course, I have now negated the title by talking about it. Maybe it was actually just a warning to myself. Maybe I was keeping a list of things you can't say, that came to mind, and then I closed up the idea factory. Maybe I assume that's the line I can't cross. Anything else is fine.
Without leaving little notes all over the place, and without Evernote, I would never be able to relive this gem. I look at it, shake my head, and chuckle. As disturbing as it is, I'm really glad it's there. Also, it makes me appreciate all the times when my anus is not a hot mess. Which is, thankfully, most of the time.
I also found a note that said "I just experienced some cogitative dissonance there." The note included the quote marks, so clearly, someone said this to me. I wrote cracks me up after it. Boy, it's lucky these things don't get lost.
Ok, so they can't all be winners, but still, thanks Evernote!
There are times when I have a fleeting idea and it's nice to open the app on my iPhone, write in the sentence, and then come back to it later, at home, in front of my computer. (It takes less time than finding a pen and opening my journal and then trying to read the horrific handwriting because I was on the bus at the time.) There are times when I'm searching for ideas; when I just don't know what to write about, and I'll scroll through Evernote, looking for those one or two sentence gems, hoping to spark a fire.
I did that today, and I found this:
Without leaving little notes all over the place, and without Evernote, I would never be able to relive this gem. I look at it, shake my head, and chuckle. As disturbing as it is, I'm really glad it's there. Also, it makes me appreciate all the times when my anus is not a hot mess. Which is, thankfully, most of the time.
I also found a note that said "I just experienced some cogitative dissonance there." The note included the quote marks, so clearly, someone said this to me. I wrote cracks me up after it. Boy, it's lucky these things don't get lost.
Ok, so they can't all be winners, but still, thanks Evernote!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Mary Got an Email Today
My dear friend Mary received an email today from someone she doesn't yet know, but will probably develop a deep personal connection with. New person, I'll name her Amelia, is a graduate student at the University of Michigan (Go Blue!), which is our Alma Mater. Amelia is in the Urban Planning Department within the School of Natural Resources and Environment. She contacted Mary via an alumni newsletter (?) because Mary is fantastic. Amelia wants to be a screenwriter, and has questions.
Our first response was, of course, "Oh, well naturally she wants to be a screenwriter. She has a background in Urban Planning." We had a good laugh. It's funny for a few reasons. First of all, there's a pretty decent-sized cliche about writing a screenplay. A lot of people try to do it. And a lot of people fail at it. On the surface, it can kind of look like it's easy to do, which is why so many people try and fail, because it's not easy.
Another reason this is funny is because there isn't an immediate link between Urban Planning and screenwriting. Mary has wanted to be a screenwriter forever, and that's what she's gone to school for, which is why Amelia contacted her to begin with. Mary knows the craft. You'd think Amelia wants to be an Urban Planner since that's what her major is. In a very brief interaction, we have determined she's studying Urban Planning as a natural segue into screenwriting.
That's probably not what happened. I am often confronted with the same tone and the "Oh, naturally" when I talk about my background. I have a bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering, was an Officer in the Navy for 5 years with a background in Nuclear Engineering, and then I went to film school. Naturally. And in film school I majored in production, but I would still really like to be a writer. I wonder about it sometimes, too, because sometimes people don't take my writing seriously because I don't have formal training in it. Except I actually do, because no matter how much English majors like to put down Engineers, we don't actually hand in reports drawn in crayon with Xs all over them. We use words and sentences and paragraphs, just like real people.
I understand the naturally comment, and I've made it myself. I've made it myself about myself. The thing is, people don't have to be just one thing. Sometimes doing one thing, be it rocket scientry or urban planning, can make you want to do another thing, like write scripts and make movies. And sometimes it takes a few years to really figure that out. And sometimes you're not as naturally gifted at writing so you have to ask for advice from people who are. Like Mary. Which is why Mary gets emails from potential screenwriting-urban-planners. Amelia has a story to tell, naturally.
Our first response was, of course, "Oh, well naturally she wants to be a screenwriter. She has a background in Urban Planning." We had a good laugh. It's funny for a few reasons. First of all, there's a pretty decent-sized cliche about writing a screenplay. A lot of people try to do it. And a lot of people fail at it. On the surface, it can kind of look like it's easy to do, which is why so many people try and fail, because it's not easy.
Another reason this is funny is because there isn't an immediate link between Urban Planning and screenwriting. Mary has wanted to be a screenwriter forever, and that's what she's gone to school for, which is why Amelia contacted her to begin with. Mary knows the craft. You'd think Amelia wants to be an Urban Planner since that's what her major is. In a very brief interaction, we have determined she's studying Urban Planning as a natural segue into screenwriting.
That's probably not what happened. I am often confronted with the same tone and the "Oh, naturally" when I talk about my background. I have a bachelor's degree in Aerospace Engineering, was an Officer in the Navy for 5 years with a background in Nuclear Engineering, and then I went to film school. Naturally. And in film school I majored in production, but I would still really like to be a writer. I wonder about it sometimes, too, because sometimes people don't take my writing seriously because I don't have formal training in it. Except I actually do, because no matter how much English majors like to put down Engineers, we don't actually hand in reports drawn in crayon with Xs all over them. We use words and sentences and paragraphs, just like real people.
I understand the naturally comment, and I've made it myself. I've made it myself about myself. The thing is, people don't have to be just one thing. Sometimes doing one thing, be it rocket scientry or urban planning, can make you want to do another thing, like write scripts and make movies. And sometimes it takes a few years to really figure that out. And sometimes you're not as naturally gifted at writing so you have to ask for advice from people who are. Like Mary. Which is why Mary gets emails from potential screenwriting-urban-planners. Amelia has a story to tell, naturally.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Bad Ideas
Sometimes coming up with bad ideas is really fun. It's part of the brainstorming process and when you want to be a comedy writer, fleshing out those bad ideas can be a laugh riot. Sometimes you've wasted a full day being essentially counter-productive, but you've laughed a lot and maybe shaken some of those ideas out.
Sometimes you don't know an idea is bad until you've fleshed it out. Also, sometimes that bad idea just makes for a great example to keep coming back to. I keep using the example of a girl traveling to Mars as an idea for a story. It's a terrible idea, but I keep using it to explain different aspects of story over all. I'm working on that project I mentioned a few days ago, and my writing partner and I were discussing the inciting incident. "You know, inciting incident. Like the thing that makes the girl go to Mars." When trying to figure out what kind of story we wanted to tell, I threw out "well, if we were telling the story of a Martian on Venus, it'd be classic fish out of water." My writing partner thinks I really want to tell a story about Mars.
And maybe I do. This is the bad idea that keeps on giving. This is where I can go to flesh out character traits that probably won't work and esoteric science puns that only I think are hilarious. I wanted to name our character Tess so I could use the "as in 'of the d'Ubervilles'" joke. I got the same reaction from the room that I would get if I told it on Mars. Silence and confusion. I might still use it though.
A bad idea is better than no idea at all. Of course sometimes bad ideas are allowed to go too far, but that's not the point, or what I'm talking about. My mother used to say that a bad *whatever* was better than no *whatever*. It usually panned out. Bad breath is better than no breath at all. Bad brakes are better than no brakes at all. A bad storm is better than no storm at all. Hm, that one doesn't really follow. But many others do.
Anyway, the point was that many times, these bad ideas just crack me up. For example, a wee bit ago I was struggling to think of a topic to write about. I was joking with Mary about several topics, such as listing things I don't like about work. (I've already said too much.) Obviously, this is a bad idea. But it makes me chuckle. And eventually I can work through that bad idea and hopefully move on to a much better one, like bad ideas!
So, managers and agents, look for the first draft of "Tess Goes to Mars," coming to your mailboxes soon!
INT. SPACESHIP - DAY.
Sometimes you don't know an idea is bad until you've fleshed it out. Also, sometimes that bad idea just makes for a great example to keep coming back to. I keep using the example of a girl traveling to Mars as an idea for a story. It's a terrible idea, but I keep using it to explain different aspects of story over all. I'm working on that project I mentioned a few days ago, and my writing partner and I were discussing the inciting incident. "You know, inciting incident. Like the thing that makes the girl go to Mars." When trying to figure out what kind of story we wanted to tell, I threw out "well, if we were telling the story of a Martian on Venus, it'd be classic fish out of water." My writing partner thinks I really want to tell a story about Mars.
And maybe I do. This is the bad idea that keeps on giving. This is where I can go to flesh out character traits that probably won't work and esoteric science puns that only I think are hilarious. I wanted to name our character Tess so I could use the "as in 'of the d'Ubervilles'" joke. I got the same reaction from the room that I would get if I told it on Mars. Silence and confusion. I might still use it though.
A bad idea is better than no idea at all. Of course sometimes bad ideas are allowed to go too far, but that's not the point, or what I'm talking about. My mother used to say that a bad *whatever* was better than no *whatever*. It usually panned out. Bad breath is better than no breath at all. Bad brakes are better than no brakes at all. A bad storm is better than no storm at all. Hm, that one doesn't really follow. But many others do.
Anyway, the point was that many times, these bad ideas just crack me up. For example, a wee bit ago I was struggling to think of a topic to write about. I was joking with Mary about several topics, such as listing things I don't like about work. (I've already said too much.) Obviously, this is a bad idea. But it makes me chuckle. And eventually I can work through that bad idea and hopefully move on to a much better one, like bad ideas!
So, managers and agents, look for the first draft of "Tess Goes to Mars," coming to your mailboxes soon!
INT. SPACESHIP - DAY.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Something New
Finally, I've started working on a new project. It's amazing how good a new project can make you feel. It pulls me immediately out of whatever slump I had fallen into. I start imaging the characters and I start spending a little bit of time with them. I think about them all the time; I take the train with them and have conversations with them. I invite them to the ball game and their enjoyment of said game tells me a lot about them.
Often the characters are a version of myself. As part of the character profile to get this project off the ground, my new writing partner and I decided to list out all of the things that make us awkward, or just the awkward things we do. So, here's a start to that list:
I'm looking forward to this new project and all the ups and downs it will surely provide. I'll laugh, I'll cry, I'll give it a soundtrack.
Often the characters are a version of myself. As part of the character profile to get this project off the ground, my new writing partner and I decided to list out all of the things that make us awkward, or just the awkward things we do. So, here's a start to that list:
- Finish most transactions by saying "unless you don't think I should."
- Leave sunglasses on head while at work.
- Trip over anything.
- Knock things off tables with backpack.
- Insist on carrying backpack everywhere.
- Announce when going to the bathroom.
- Hold the door for people who are actually pretty far away.
- Answer non-yes-or-no questions with "yes?"
- Throw silverware on the plate and shout "I win" when finished with meal.
- Over explain things to wait staff.
- Spill every thing.
- Don't notice when others stop talking.
- Wave at people who look familiar on the street.
- Barter for goods and services.
- Talk to yourself in public restrooms.
- Dance in the elevator.
- Push the alarm button in the elevator with backpack, then look around like "who's doing that?"
- Fall. A lot.
- Answer the phone in unconventional ways.
- Pull the tablecloth off the table when leaving for the restroom.
- Splash water all over self when washing hands.
- Tuck pant leg into socks.
- Open an umbrella while in the doorway. Get stuck.
- Go around a revolving door more than it requires.
- Double up in a revolving door.
I'm looking forward to this new project and all the ups and downs it will surely provide. I'll laugh, I'll cry, I'll give it a soundtrack.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Yes, I Have a Process
Every day I sit down and have a mini-freak out: oh god, I don't have anything to write about. I search my brain and recount the events of the morning to try to pull from something, anything, that I can turn into a few paragraphs. It's my process. It's a pretty shitty process, actually. It causes a lot of undue stress.
Every Tuesday between 8 and about 10 I realize it's Tuesday and I think fuck, it's only Tuesday. I used to really like Tuesdays. In fact, I think I've mentioned it before, in my letter to Tuesday. However, since then, it has left me cold. Somehow, Monday has lasted so long that Tuesday is inconceivable to me. How can only 24 hours have passed since I last sat at this very spot thinking about my case of the Mondays? And why will I have to wait another full 24 hours until the juvenile-named hump day.
Combining my every day process of a mini-freak out and the every Tuesday process of lamenting the day can make 8 - 10 on Tuesdays a particularly trying time. I get stress induced nose acne and my ulcers kick up a full level of failure-fear mucus. Failure-fear mucus is the particular brand of stomach mucus that sits in the pit of my stomach making me feel hungry and full at the same time. It's caused when I start listing all of the ways I could potentially fail if I don't come up with something right now, at this very second. The nose acne is just an added bonus.
Yes, this is part of my process. I have grown to rely on this failure-fear mucus as an indicator to whether or not I'm doing this right. Too much of it probably means I actually do need to eat something or maybe make the next pot of coffee decaf. But not enough of it is also a sign that maybe I'm heading down the slippery slope of the passive observer. The blank page might be intimidating, but a dead soul would be worse. It's a harder position from which to recover.
I do think everybody has their own process, and it can be kind of silly to drone on about mine when it won't help anyone else one bit. But there is something about it that worries me. I write a lot of notes. Before I even put down the slug line at the top of a sketch I write out paragraphs and paragraphs or lists and lists of notes. Some of them read like stream of conscious writing where I go from my commentary to character description to dialogue to alternate jokes with nothing more than periods between them. I worry that if I get hit by a bus before the final product makes it to the world, people will find these notes and think "well, clearly she was nuts, so maybe this bus accident was a blessing."
Every Tuesday between 8 and about 10 I realize it's Tuesday and I think fuck, it's only Tuesday. I used to really like Tuesdays. In fact, I think I've mentioned it before, in my letter to Tuesday. However, since then, it has left me cold. Somehow, Monday has lasted so long that Tuesday is inconceivable to me. How can only 24 hours have passed since I last sat at this very spot thinking about my case of the Mondays? And why will I have to wait another full 24 hours until the juvenile-named hump day.
Combining my every day process of a mini-freak out and the every Tuesday process of lamenting the day can make 8 - 10 on Tuesdays a particularly trying time. I get stress induced nose acne and my ulcers kick up a full level of failure-fear mucus. Failure-fear mucus is the particular brand of stomach mucus that sits in the pit of my stomach making me feel hungry and full at the same time. It's caused when I start listing all of the ways I could potentially fail if I don't come up with something right now, at this very second. The nose acne is just an added bonus.
Yes, this is part of my process. I have grown to rely on this failure-fear mucus as an indicator to whether or not I'm doing this right. Too much of it probably means I actually do need to eat something or maybe make the next pot of coffee decaf. But not enough of it is also a sign that maybe I'm heading down the slippery slope of the passive observer. The blank page might be intimidating, but a dead soul would be worse. It's a harder position from which to recover.
I do think everybody has their own process, and it can be kind of silly to drone on about mine when it won't help anyone else one bit. But there is something about it that worries me. I write a lot of notes. Before I even put down the slug line at the top of a sketch I write out paragraphs and paragraphs or lists and lists of notes. Some of them read like stream of conscious writing where I go from my commentary to character description to dialogue to alternate jokes with nothing more than periods between them. I worry that if I get hit by a bus before the final product makes it to the world, people will find these notes and think "well, clearly she was nuts, so maybe this bus accident was a blessing."
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
It Only Counts if Others See It
Sometimes I'm one of those douchehats who take up a puffy chair or a table for hours at Starbucks while writing. I don't do it often, but sometimes I need the change of pace and the pressure of sitting at a table with my computer can help my motivation. If I'm having a particularly "ooh, shiny things are everywhere" day, heading some where like Starbucks can help focus that energy. I don't know enough people in the area to be interrupted by people coming in and my fear of losing my seat and things being stolen keeps my ass in that chair. One of the best pieces of advice I received about being a writer is "the writer stays in the room."
The writer stays in the room, or in the coffee shop, ass in chair, in front of her computer, putting fingers to keys and words to page. It's not all brilliant and it needn't be. I try to write comedy, and it's not all funny. But sometimes I amaze even myself how I can pull one funny sentence from pages and pages of blubbering idiocy about an otherwise serious topic. Then I use that one funny sentence to build on. I imagine journaling is scoffed at in literary or professional writing circles and because of that, I would never let anyone read my journal. I bet most people do it though. They might not admit it, but come on, it's part of the process. If your process is to just put only perfect thoughts on the page, then eff you. And teach me how!
The part I don't like about others seeing me write is I feel a need to justify that what I'm doing is important. I was out of the house for several hours last night and when I returned my roommate nonchalantly confirmed that I was at Starbucks. Currently, my roommate is a subletter who is a social worker. She is subletting from my roommate who is an honest to goodness writer; he is in the process of writing a book with a publisher and the whole nine. Our walls are jam packed with books on foreign policy, politics, history, and the great things that plague the world and the human condition. These are people who are living for the greater good, or are at least conscious of it. When I walked in, my current subletter roommate had her computer open on her lap in the midst of work. She kindly asked what I was working on. I told her a sketch and then further explained sketch comedy. She had spent five hours at the hospital earlier that day with a client. I don't know what the client was at the hospital for but I bet it wasn't just to pick up some candy or because she loves how MRIs make her feel. Roommate then had to bring work home with her. I sat at Starbucks for 2 hours making lists of mythical creatures, parliament positions, and prostitute synonyms. By the way, I really hope the Zombie Libertine is a huge hit.
I have to remind myself of a few cliches every once in a while: to each their own, it takes all kinds, laughter is the best medicine. If I wanted to be a doctor, I would have gone to medical school. I don't, so I didn't. I want to be a comedy writer, so naturally I went to engineering college, nuclear power school, and film school. Now I just sit and wait for my brilliance to be discovered. Which brings me back to my first point- People can't see me writing when I'm inside my house. I need to be out in public with the other people. The only way for people to know I'm a writer is for them to see me writing. Usually at a Starbucks.
The writer stays in the room, or in the coffee shop, ass in chair, in front of her computer, putting fingers to keys and words to page. It's not all brilliant and it needn't be. I try to write comedy, and it's not all funny. But sometimes I amaze even myself how I can pull one funny sentence from pages and pages of blubbering idiocy about an otherwise serious topic. Then I use that one funny sentence to build on. I imagine journaling is scoffed at in literary or professional writing circles and because of that, I would never let anyone read my journal. I bet most people do it though. They might not admit it, but come on, it's part of the process. If your process is to just put only perfect thoughts on the page, then eff you. And teach me how!
The part I don't like about others seeing me write is I feel a need to justify that what I'm doing is important. I was out of the house for several hours last night and when I returned my roommate nonchalantly confirmed that I was at Starbucks. Currently, my roommate is a subletter who is a social worker. She is subletting from my roommate who is an honest to goodness writer; he is in the process of writing a book with a publisher and the whole nine. Our walls are jam packed with books on foreign policy, politics, history, and the great things that plague the world and the human condition. These are people who are living for the greater good, or are at least conscious of it. When I walked in, my current subletter roommate had her computer open on her lap in the midst of work. She kindly asked what I was working on. I told her a sketch and then further explained sketch comedy. She had spent five hours at the hospital earlier that day with a client. I don't know what the client was at the hospital for but I bet it wasn't just to pick up some candy or because she loves how MRIs make her feel. Roommate then had to bring work home with her. I sat at Starbucks for 2 hours making lists of mythical creatures, parliament positions, and prostitute synonyms. By the way, I really hope the Zombie Libertine is a huge hit.
I have to remind myself of a few cliches every once in a while: to each their own, it takes all kinds, laughter is the best medicine. If I wanted to be a doctor, I would have gone to medical school. I don't, so I didn't. I want to be a comedy writer, so naturally I went to engineering college, nuclear power school, and film school. Now I just sit and wait for my brilliance to be discovered. Which brings me back to my first point- People can't see me writing when I'm inside my house. I need to be out in public with the other people. The only way for people to know I'm a writer is for them to see me writing. Usually at a Starbucks.
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So maybe that's not so humble, but I just wanted to get that off my giant heaving chest. I know what the fuck I'm talking about. Digression over, and hidden because sometimes I think maybe I should say those things. And really, that's the big problem here isn't it? Because really, I should fucking say it all the time and much louder. "Stop writing your women so stupid and the reason you can't get women is because you are actually an asshole." Now that's a great piece of writing advice.