Thursday, November 10, 2011

I Hate Rats

    It might not be cool of me, but I don't care.  I hate rats and am decently frightened of them.  When one scurries across my path, I shriek.  I shriek like a very big girl. 
     People say that rats are more afraid of people than the other way around.  I don't buy it.  I think they're pretty damn ballsy for being supposedly afraid.  This morning I watched--from a safe distance--as a rat walked scurried up and down the subway platform, where the people stand.  I suppose if the platform were full of people, the rat wouldn't have been there.  But I was there, and at least two other people, and the rat was just scurrying back and forth, being all ratty.  I couldn't decide where to stand, because I wanted to be very far away from the rat, but it kept coming toward me.  I stood really close to the edge, but then of course, I saw a few rats on the tracks and I got convinced they were heading toward me as well.  I felt trapped.  I held my breath and willed the train to arrive.
     Yes, earlier I said I shriek when I see rats and then I just said I held my breath.  Well, I wasn't going to shriek in a subway station.  I'm still trying to fit in.  Also, it didn't scurry across my path.  It was just hanging out, being gross and ratty.  So that doesn't warrant a shriek.
     I also think they'll go anywhere.  When I lived in Boston, I lived on a decently rat-infested street.  I would pull in the driveway and get out of my car as fast as possible and run to the front door.  I made a rule that the car door couldn't be open for any longer than it took for a person to get out of the car.  My roommate, let's call him Wave, made fun of me for this and asked for my reasoning.  I was convinced that as soon as I opened my car door, a rat would climb in the car and make it its home.  Wave thought I was crazy, but my car went rat free so I think I was right. 
     I used to get really upset when Wave or Des (our other roommate) left the front door open too long because of the rat parade I was convinced was staging itself under the porch.  And not to be too much of a girl about it, but after rats ran out of the trash can when I put new trash in, I made Des take out all my trash.  Once Des left a note on the house white board--DO NOT LOOK IN THE TRASH CAN.  I had to know, but I didn't look.  He then informed me that since rats are dumb and it rained, there were drowned rats in the trash cans.  I was officially off trash duty forever.
     I know rats will never go away.  I know some people keep them as pets.  Those people are gross and I am not friends with them.  I hate rats.  I wish they were dead.  I will continue to shriek at them when they scurry and hold my breath at them when they appear to be on the attack.  They're gross.  I hate them. 

1 comment:

  1. I really miss our rat infested street. And those great times with Des and Wave and... Nelly? Melly? I'll just call her Kelly. And I honestly can't remember the other guys name. Paul? NO! Jeff! HA! Got it. Jelly?