Mr. and Mrs. Rejection

(Because I love rejection so much, I want to marry it.)

I made a movie, and I have been through a lot with it.  I want to say I love it, as I would my own child.  But I kind of hate it right now, as I would my child, were it to spill red wine on my new white couch.  (I would never actually buy a new white couch.  And I wouldn't give my child red wine.  Neither of those things are the point.)  The words good and bad have no place in this discussion.  There's no point in being self-deprecating and saying "Oh, it's not very good," or any other type of subjective statement.  The movie is out there.  I loved it once.  In little moments, I love it still.  And that's what propels me forward.  And I submit it to festivals.  I believe it to be a comedy, therefore I submit it to comedy festivals, or at least the comedy category of regular festivals.  To be honest, I've only submitted to three so far.  I assume so much that it will be rejected, I don't bother to submit.  Other days I love rejection so much, I go for it.

The first festival I submitted to is a wonderful festival.  I had little belief I would actually get in, but I still had that small glimmer of hope fluttering away in my heart, crossing its fingers and holding its breath.  And another part of hope that was built primarily on spite.  I wanted to show all the naysayers.  Of course, I didn't get in, so maybe the naysayers are right.

But the rejection letter was so nice, it didn't really even feel like a rejection.  And the way everything else has been going, it was one of the most positive things I had going for me.  As an act of good will and recognition for all the hard work that actually goes into making a film, the festival offered a complimentary festival pass. 

I'm not completely sure what I expect to happen.  I sort of feel nothing about it right now.  I'm just excited to be going to a film festival, even if its simply as an observer and not a filmmaker.  I paid the $50 for a round-trip one-day bus ticket to New York City, and I'm going.  Bring on the laughs, non-losers.  Loser here needs something to laugh at.