Nothing is Free

     On Tuesday I went to the gym.  I'm not a very good gym goer.  I make it in about once every 4 - 7 days.  I went in after the Labor Day holiday with decent intentions to do a 15 minute kettle-bell workout and then a walk/run and some stretching.
     I started on the kettle-bell portion of it and one of the gym's trainers approached me, clearly marveling at my perfect form and athletic prowess.  That's usually the case when someone starts with "are you ok?"  Anyway, I was fine; he introduced himself (Paul) and offered me a free 25-minute personal training session.  There didn't seem to be a catch, so I agreed.
     Paul is a giant.  You'd see him coming if he were walking through a redwood forest.  He makes all the exercises look very easy.  He was throwing kettle-bells around like nannies throw around babies dogs throw around dead bunnies they were rags.  He'd demonstrate the really simple exercise, hand me the kettle-bell, and be all smug as I tried to replicate what he had done. 
      He became very aware of my athletic prowess towards the end of the session when I was leaning on the side of a bench and tried to say his name but it just came out "pao."  I remembered the point of personal trainers.  You really aren't ever going to push yourself that hard, but when a giant is standing over you, you kick it into high gear.  He was nice enough, and at the end of the session, I thanked him and then tried to not vomit in the gym.
     The next day: pain.  Everywhere.  Two days later:  still pain.  I don't walk right anymore.  I'm an 80-year-old man trying to walk down stairs.  My gait has been transformed to that of an elderly person with a hot load in their pants.  It was a free workout session, but I'll be paying for it for days.  Nothing is ever free.