Friday, January 14, 2011

Shout Out a Suggestion

     I've mentioned before that when I'm at a loss for ideas, I'll often shout out to my good friend Mary for suggestions.  This time her suggestion was "me and tea."  Nothing immediately came to mind, but I like a challenge. 
Mary and Tea
     Almost every day, some form of this conversation happens:
Mary: This tea isn't very good.
Nancy: Tea sucks.   
I think Mary genuinely likes tea.  I used to like the idea of tea, but I've gotten over that.  I've been a coffee drinker since I was 13, and to me, tea is just really weak shitty coffee.  Except iced tea.  I love iced tea, but not sweetened, and not with lemon.  This is apparently an odd way to drink iced tea.
     Several years ago, I attempted to become a tea drinker.  I was living on a barge in the middle of the sea profiting greatly from the trade of teas and spices, so I had it at my disposal.*  I opted for a tea named Tension Tamer; there was a picture of a lion on the box, or a dragon.  It might have been Morning Thunder with the buffalo.  I don't actually remember.  I attempted to make it part of my routine.  One of the things I liked about tea is that when it got cold, it still tasted like tea.  I think my affair with tea lasted about three days.
     I will still drink tea on occasion- mostly on the occasion of being ill.   I still enjoy a cup of peppermint tea when I'm wrapped up in sweats and blankets and have tissues shoved up my nose.  For some reason, peppermint tea cures what ails you.  Or at least cups of hot water cure what ails you, but the peppermint makes it easier to take.  
      A few of my current coworkers are tea drinkers.  I resent them for it.
I'm going to get coffee, would you like some?
No thanks, I drink tea.
It's almost as bad as those people who constantly remind you they don't own a television.  They're actually constantly reminding you that they're better than you.  I bet the venn diagram of people who drink tea and people who don't own televisions looks like this:

There are probably a few people who drink tea because of dietary restrictions but still enjoy watching TV.  Also, there are probably a few homeless people who don't own TVs or drink tea.  Other than that though, I think there's probably a pretty strong overlap.
     So anyway, Mary, the reason your tea sucks is because in general, tea sucks.  Drink coffee!

*This is not true.

1 comment:

  1. Wow - you did in fact manage to make that post about tea and me. I'm drinking coffee today. However, both beverages, in their you-can-get-it-in-the-office-kitchen form I drink solely for caffeine intake. I don't particularly enjoy either. I'd much rather have a soy chai latte or a caramel macchiato but I'm too cheap and lazy to go Starbucks every morning. Miss you!