Thursday, July 21, 2011

Proceed with Caution

     I've been a little careless with my homonyms today.  I was staring out the window while typing so I wasn't really thinking about it.  It was awful though, because I was attempting to complain about something someone had written.  I wrote a note to my friend: "these assholes who right awards are terrible at it."  I hit send too fast.  It was out there.  My friend correctly responded with "hahaha.  Oh, the irony."  I pretty much wanted to die.
     I don't even think that's an incredibly common mistake.  That's one for really dumb people to make- people who actually don't know there are two different words.  That was a head planted firmly in my butt mistake.  I was very embarrassed.  Then, shortly after that, I used the wrong there/they're/their.  I tried to defend it saying I had changed what I was going to say, but it's not a good excuse.  I wanted to give up for the day.  There was nothing more I could do here, so I should just go.
     That was about 9 this morning, and ever since then, I have been writing ever so gingerly.  I don't trust myself anymore.  I can't even send out casual emails.  I'm crippled with fear that Thursday, July 21st, 2011, is the day I forgot how to use homonyms.  Or words at all.

     Also, as a side note, I was thinking about the phrase "head up your ass."  It's something my sister used to say a lot.  She was the first person I had ever heard use it.  It amused me when I first heard it.  I attempted to use contextual clues to figure out what it could possibly mean.  Then I realized it was her go-to insult.  She would accuse her husband of having his head up his ass pretty much all the time.  And maybe that was the case, but there would be things that didn't seem to be indicative of having one's head up one's ass.  For example, when they ran out of paint while painting their house, she blamed it on him having his head up his ass.  It seems like a bit of a leap.  Plus, the paint store isn't far away- just go buy another gallon.  He just didn't get enough.  It's not like he went to the store to buy paint and came back with a kitten.  That might be a case of head-in-assery.  Not buying enough paint?  Eh, small math error.
     She also used to accuse her daughter of having her head up her butt, even when her daughter was quite young.  I think she was probably just 6 and curious and maybe a little weak, and that's why she spilled the bag of dog food all over the kitchen and then proceeded to add water.
     In general, people don't have their headss up their asses as much as my sister thought they did.  I try to look out for this, and make sure I only claim peoples' heads are up their butts when they really seem like they are.  Including my own.  Using right instead of write?  Not paying attention; head in my butt.

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