How I Know I'm True

     A few months ago, I wrote about being someone between the person I was and the person I thought I was.  And I think there was talk about a third person in there and constant change, and maybe it got a little existential.  I frequently make qualifying statements about myself.  I do worry sometimes that I'm making these statements out of ephemeral ideas; I might be coming to concrete conclusions based on a fleeting feeling. 
     Yesterday, I talked about how much I enjoy candy.  "I like candy more than an adult should" I professed.  Was it possible that I was just saying this about myself with not too much evidence to back it up?  Would outsiders corroborate this? 
     I was having coffee with a friend of mine today, a friend who did not read yesterday's post, and she asked "What did you have for lunch today?  A pound of M&Ms?"  This is how I know I'm true to myself.  I laughed and said no, I had to cut that shit back because I did have a half-pound of Reese's Pieces yesterday.  She laughed knowingly.  She said I have the pallet of the 4-year-old, who also happens to enjoy booze.  Yes, I agree with that assessment. 
     Booze and Candy.  It's not just for breakfast. 

Ideas That Didn't Pan Out: A List.

     I don't always have a full well of ideas in which to choose from to make my blog topic.  Often, as I've mentioned before, I just ask Mary to yell things out.  She does, and then I end up talking about things that might seem disconnected if you didn't know that was happening.  Things like awesome things that are awesome, coffee, bagels, and breakfast in general, pulp or no pulp, onions, the morning, forty dollars, and fuel, and the email she received yesterday.
     I also sometimes try to come up with my own ideas, but these don't always pan out.  Some are too personal, some too damn depressing, some too underdeveloped, and some there just isn't enough to say about.  Things like:

• Reasons [I think] I'm a Bad Person: A list
• How the President visiting the Navy Yard affects me (it doesn't)
• The Mary Tyler Moore Show: A Review
• Funny things that happened at dinner last night
• Why I can't sleep
• Why, once I'm asleep, I can't wake up
• My inconclusive feelings about Frightened Rabbit
• Low self-esteem and self-preservation
• A Happy Birthday tribute to Mary
• What really keeps me up at night
• My secret plans for the future
• How I keep screwing up
• What I mean when I say "The one time I ..."
• My list of sketch ideas, including "two cats walk into a bar," suggested by Mary
• How maybe I shouldn't rely so much on Mary's suggestions
• How I'm really glad Mary makes suggestions when I ask her to
• The douchehats who insulted the book I'm reading
• My improv team, "We met in 1B."

A few of those I came up with while writing the list and may not have been actual contenders for blog topics.  Oliver is a decently unfocused place, and some would say that is analogous to its author.  To those I say "Hrumph.  Go fuck yourself and leave me the hell alone."  Oliver's focus is whatever is in my view-field at that moment.  It's about what I have to say.  Often, it's about what I have to say about a topic Mary suggests.  This might just be as much hers as it is mine.  Because clearly onions and orange juice are more fruitful topics than anything in that damn list. 

Also:  Happy Birthday Mary.  Sorry I'm missing your movie fest; they all die in the end. 

Self Referential

     They say no man is an island, but we can sure as hell try, can't we?  I spend a lot of my time referring back to things I've said and done, expecting people to remember that I've said or done those things.  Most people don't, because a) that is super ego-maniacal of me, b) it wasn't that memorable, and c) they are purely focused on themselves.
     If you read ~M's blog every day, like I do, you saw her post about the Dead Island trailer.  Interest in this piqued because of twitter and however the twitter universe causes such things to trend.  Admittedly, I saw the words Dead Island over on the trending portion of twitter, but I didn't try to find out what it was because I usually understand so little of what's trending anyway.  Luckily, ~M filled me in.  She gave me a brief review before I watched it, summing it up as "cool, but also sad."
     Hours later, I was talking to Mary again, about a completely different topic.  It was sad, and I agreed; I stated it was "like Dead Island sad."  This amused me.  I want it to be something people say.  I like to qualify things in this manner, to put qualifiers in what should be a quantified scale- on a scale from 1 to Dead Island, how sad was it?  Dead Island sad.  (Regarding hunger: On a scale from 1 to Ravenous, I'm Guy Pearce.)
     Of course, this phrase will never take off.  Neither I or the Dead Island trailer have the type of following to make this a colloquialism.  I'll keep using it, however, and field the weird looks from friends and coworkers as I explain the origin of the whole thing.  Their eyes will surely glass over during the explanation, due to those three earlier mentioned reasons, but perhaps persistence will pay off.
     A few months ago, I wrote about the mysteries of my new climate- mid-way through that post I said "Where the hell do I live? Venus?"  This morning I was listening to the weather, and I heard the high for the day was going to be 73 degrees, followed by a mild weekend, and a wintry-mix on Tuesday.  I said, yet again, "where the hell do I live? Venus?" 
       Experts say that referring to things that happened earlier is somehow pleasing to the brain.  A concept that is known as a call-back, it's where we remember what is said earlier, and even if it wasn't really that funny, the fact that we're bringing it back up can make it funny, and bringing it back up a third time will make it hilarious.  Dead Island hilarious.  I crack myself up.