Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

     Words to live by, they are.  Thanksgiving Drunkfest is the greatest holiday of all time.  The only thing that could make it better would be fireworks, though I'm not really suggesting it.  I just really like fireworks. 
     Every year at Christmas, my family would burn the rolls.  It got to the point where we never actually expected to have rolls, because we knew they would just get left in the oven.  It was the last thing my grandpa would put in the oven and about half-way through dinner some asshole would say "are there any rolls?"  We all knew where they were.  I like rolls, but not enough to scrape off the burnt parts and suck on the doughy parts at the end of the meal. 
     Timing the preparation of food can be tricky.  Add in multiple dishes, and new dishes, to be served for many people, and it almost becomes anyone's guess as to when food will be done.  This is why we do a dry-run for Thanksgiving.  I use the term dry-run pretty loosely though. 
     The idea was to test out all the sides: sidesapalooza.  How long will they take?  Will they taste good?  Do we have all the ingredients?  What can be made in advance?  And then, once all the sides are made, we should probably eat them all.  Similarly to preparing a meal of all appetizers because you always fill up on jalapeño poppers and mozzarella sticks.  Except we filled up on mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potato casserole, and cranberry sauce.  Protein is for the birds.  Actually, there was sausage in the stuffing, so it totally counts. And there were pecans on top of the sweet potatoes, and I'm pretty sure that counts as a vegetable. 
     I also believe this has helped to prepare our bodies for the massive intake of food for the upcoming holiday.  Thanksgiving is a marathon, and we must train for it.  Now, when training for an actual marathon, do you stop running all together for weeks before so that your energy will be all stored up?  No.  That's foolishness.  Similarly, to train for Thanksgiving, you do not stop eating for days (or weeks) prior.  You eat and eat and eat, so your system can handle it.  You plan, prior to the event- to prevent getting sick.  Getting sick at Thanksgiving is considered piss poor performance.

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