Why I Won't Be A Parent. Part One.

     I think the idea of joyful children is a myth perpetuated by generations and generations for self preservation and comeuppance.   I overheard a conversation once that went like this: “yeah, but kids are great.”  “They really are.”  There was no supporting evidence.  Parents have to constantly justify what makes all the pain worth it.  It never seems worth it.  “Oh, when he runs at me when I come home and hugs me, that's when I know it’s worth it.”  That’s it?  That’s the damn moment that makes getting shit on, screamed at, swatted at, and innumerable more horrible thing by these tiny little assholes worth it?  A goddamn running hug by someone who’s probably just going to give you the flu anyway? 

     Kids are assholes and they always have been.  But we’re made to feel like awful people for thinking it—and especially for saying it.  They’re selfish little monsters.  There’s nothing we can do about it.  Parents convince their children to have children as payback.  That’s it.  There was not actually any joy involved in the raising of the child.  People say all the time that it’s the hardest thing in the world.  It’s the hardest thing in the world, but sometimes they come runnin’ to hug you, so it’s worth it!  Bullshit. 

     Stupid people keep having kids because sex feels good.  Smart people stop having kids because kids are assholes.  Stupid people have stupid assholes.  At least when smart people had smart assholes, smart assholes are usually good for something.  Stupid assholes are just good for having more stupid assholes and increasing CMTs market share.