Christmas Songs: A List

One of the things I like about Christmas is the music.  But not all of the music.  Some of the music is awful, and then combine it with hearing it over and over, it's bloody-ear inducingly horrible.  Wikipedia provided a list of traditional Christmas songs, and popular Christmas songs.  I provide that list with my opinion of each song.

• Angels We Have Heard on High - I like the middle part.  "Gloooooooooria." 
• Away in a Manger - Too little substance.  I hate the line "I love you Lord Jesus."  You just met the kid, how can you love him already?
• Bring a Torch, Jeanette, Isabella - Uuuuuuh.  I don't think this is real.
• Coventry Carol - Or this one.
• Deck the Halls - Fun and merriment, with two syllables!
• Ding Dong Merrily on High - Nope.
• The First Noël - The meter is off, so that's irritating, and it's pretty repetitive.   I will allow for one to two listens.
• Gabriel's Message - Fake.
• Go Tell It on the Mountain - Jewel does a fun rendition of this song.  I like it.
• God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen - Fun to sing along to.  The Barenaked Ladies with Sarah McLachlan have an awesome version of this.  I'll listen to it at any time of the year.
• Good King Wenceslas - Only good in Love Actually when Hugh Grant's character sings it to the little girl at the door and his butler/attendant person comes in with the bass.
• Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - I do like it.  I like saying "Hark!" 
• Here We Come A-Wassailing - American's shouldn't say things like A-Wassailing.  This is probably a Canadian song.  I don't like it. 
• The Holly and the Ivy - Made up.
• I Saw Three Ships - The Barenaked Ladies version is great.  Otherwise, I miss the point of it.  I don't read the Bible, but I don't think there were ships.  I think there were shepherds, and they walked.  Perhaps this is an alternate telling, about a different Jesus.  I don't really follow any of it.  Perhaps I should listen to the words more closely. 
• I Wonder as I Wander - Blech.  Me thinks you should pay attention while you wander, so you don't get lost. 
• In Dulci Jubilo - They're making this up, right?
• In the Bleak Midwinter - Probably depressing, but I've never heard it.
• It Came upon the Midnight Clear - Not awful.
• Joy to the World - This one is fun to sing with lots of people.  I approve.
• Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming - No.
• O Come All Ye Faithful - Yes, I like this one.  I think we sang it when I was a kid.  I have fond memories of it. 
• O Come, O Come, Emmanuel - I probably get this one mixed up with the other O Come song.  You just need one.  Stay where you are, Emmanuel. 
• O Holy Night - It's a nice melody, a pretty decent tune.  A little slow though.  It's not going on a holiday mix for parties, that's for sure. 
• O Little Town of Bethlehem - Too slow.  But I can remember the words, and they're not awful words, so it's ok. 
• Once in Royal David's City - Canadian.  It must be. 
• Silent Night - I used to love it, and now I think it's only ok.  It is nice when sung by a choir with the "peace, peace" chorus under it.
• Sussex Carol - Huh?
• The Twelve Days of Christmas - I love it when I don't have to listen to all twelve verses.  The John Denver and the Muppets version is the B-Est version of this song. 
• We Three Kings of Orient Are - Don't end a sentence in a preposition, son, at.
• We Wish You a Merry Christmas - Whereas it is incredibly repetitive, it's also easy to remember when you've had too much nog, and short enough to get over.
• Wexford Carol - It this related to Sussex Carol?
• What Child Is This - I think you know what child that is.  Sheesh.
• While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks - Nope.  Probably not really about Christmas.

• The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire) – I like the song, but I think by now, we can stop using the parentheticals in the title.  If you don't know it's called "The Christmas Song" then you don't get to sing it. 
• Santa Claus Is Coming to Town – and he's a stalker.  It's creepy. 
• Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas – Yes.  It's sweet.  I like it.
• Winter Wonderland– As a kid who grew up with wintery Christmases, I like this song.
• White Christmas – For the same reason I like Winter Wonderland.  Maybe I think they're the same song.  
• Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! – I concur, please let it snow. 
• Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – I'm over this song.  But do you recall the most famous reindeer of all?  Yes, of course! Because he's the most famous.  It's the other eight shit-for-brains reindeer we don't remember. 
• Jingle Bell Rock – It's fun and jaunty, and I love to sing along.  Woo!
• I'll Be Home for Christmas – It starts off sweet, but then it turns out he probably won't be home.  If only in his dreams.  Well, eff you buddy, keep that part to yourself!
• The Little Drummer Boy – I used to love this one, but the more it's on, the more I'm bothered by the drums. 
• Sleigh Ride – Yep.  I would go on a Sleigh Ride with these people. 
• It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year – Jingle-belling? Mistle-Toeing?  No.
• Silver Bells – Too slow for me. 
• Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree – I love this one if for no other reason that the awesome scene in Home Alone. 
• Feliz Navidad – In spanish, or not in spanish, but not both.  It's insulting.   
• Blue Christmas – De-Press-Ing.  
• Frosty the Snowman – The Frost story just doesn't work for me.
• A Holly Jolly Christmas – I think a cup of cheer is probably rum or brandy, and I can support that.   
• I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – So first the kid thinks his mommy is a whore, then he finds out it's just that his underdeveloped mind was too dumb to realize Santa was fake.  A Merry Christmas indeed. 
• Here Comes Santa Claus (Right Down Santa Claus Lane) – I don't think there is a Santa Claus Lane.  And I really really hate how they mix God and Santa in this one.  Gifts for all God's Children?  No.  Wrong.  Santa was not present at the birth of Jesus.  It's like saying Captain Spok was on the Death Star. 
• It's Beginning To Look a Lot Like Christmas – Maybe in 1932.
• (There's No Place Like) Home for the Holidays – Because home is awful, and at the holidays, the awful is magnified?  Sure.  But otherwise, I'd rather be anywhere else than home for the holidays. 
• Carol of the Bells – Yes, my favorite Christmas song of all time.  Sung by a choir, it is awesome.  Home Alone did a great version of this song.
• Santa Baby – Seriously?  I could really do without this song. 
• Wonderful Christmastime – I get that Paul McCartney is a genius, but I don't care for this song.  Christmastime?  As one word?  I don't get it. 

A few were left out from Wikipedia, presumably because they weren't popular enough.  I love "Baby, It's Cold Outside" even though it's not strictly Christmas.  Of course the one performed by Zooey Deschanel in Elf is great, but also, the band Over The Rhine knocks it out of the park.  Also, I want to mention "All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Vince Vance and the Valiants.  It is not the song by Mariah Carey.  Check it out.  A much better version of that Mariah Carey song is performed by Olivia Olson, from the Love Actually soundtrack.  And I love the Home Alone soundtrack as a whole.  That is a great collection of holiday music.