Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Trimming the Tree Sounds Dangerous

     To piggy back on yesterday's post, I shall continue talking about the Christmas spirit.  Along with watching various Christmas themed movies and television shows, I also decided to get a tree this year.   This isn't the first tree I've ever had, but I also don't consistently have trees.  I didn't get one last year, but the year before my roommates and I chipped in for one.  We put some pretty random ornaments and a whole mess of lights.
     I had no particularly strong feelings either way about getting a tree this year.  My mother is coming to me for the holidays this year, so after that decision was made, I did think I should do something to make the apartment appear to be more of place where people actually live, rather than the labyrinth-like dungeon it currently resembles.  A few lights and candy dish could probably suffice.  Then Community reminded us that "music and cookies and liquor and trees" is what Christmas is for, and I all of a sudden had strong feelings about getting a tree: yes.
     I got a small tree from an elementary school playground that had been temporarily (I assume) transformed into a Christmas tree lot.  The proceeds from the tree somehow produced playground equipment or books or something to help children learn better.  Plus, they delivered.  And even though I only live five blocks from this particular lot, if I don't have to carry a tree five blocks, I'm not going to.
     I used the time between purchase and delivery to get the necessary tree accessories.  Let me fast forward to many hours later, after the tree is set up and lit and beautiful in my living room.  I'm on the phone with my mother, telling her about the tree, making sure she's not allergic to real trees- we always had artificial when I was growing up, and I assumed it was due to allergies, be it to pine or happiness.  She confirmed she had no allergies, and did actually enjoy real trees.  Then she stopped short and said "Did you have a tree stand?!"
     She used the same tone you would use when accusing someone of drowning your puppy.  Now, admittedly, prior to purchasing the tree, I did not already own a tree stand.  However, it is one of those necessary tree accessories I just mentioned.   So, basically, my mother either thinks that a.) I'm an idiot and have just leaned the tree against the wall and/or 2.) there were a limited supply of tree stands made in the early 80s and if you didn't get one then, you are out of luck.  I still think it's a bit of both a and 2, because she seemed surprised when I simply said "I bought one."  I thought we had moved passed the tree and were on to another topic when she shouted "you have to water it!"  She must really wonder how I don't just wander into traffic every day.
     I have very little affinity for ornaments, and even less so for storing ornaments, so i only have two on the tree.  They were gifts from a good friend many years ago.  It doesn't bother me at all.  I like it.  This does, however, bring us to another tree decorating conversation I had with a dear friend of mine.  I'll call her Blauri, to protect the innocent.
Blauri: Do you want to make sugar cookies and put them on your tree?
Me: Is that real?
Blauri: Yes.  Then you just throw them away.  And it's cheap. You can do cranberries too.
Me: That sounds good.
Blauri: I could come over and help.
Me:  Yeah, we can make cranberries and popcorn.
Blauri: I didn't say popcorn.
Me: I know, I did.  I want popcorn.
Blauri: To go with the cookies?
Me: What cookies?
So, now I shall have a fully trimmed tree with mostly food on it.  The conversation also devolved into a made up tradition of putting various cuts of meat on trees, and my true age was revealed when Blauri suggested Thursday night, and I responded with a bit of hesitation and "well, I think my shows will all be reruns, so that should be ok."  I am apparently an 80-year-old woman.  The good news was that 20 minute fit of uncontrollable laughter shaved time off the ab workout we were going to do.  
     Yay Christmas spirit, and music, and cookies, and liquor, and trees.       

1 comment:

  1. Sugar Cookies on a tree is probably a thing. I don't know, I just heard it somewhere.


    PS- John Le Carre called- he said your aliases needed work. I'm just the messenger.