Monday, December 20, 2010

The Epitome of Laziness

     I like to use a planner.  It keeps me organized and on point.  It also, however, gives me permission to be the laziest bag of ass ever.  Ten pounds of lazy-ass in a five pound bag.  When there is nothing written in my planner, nothing at all gets done. 
     I had written in the fun times that were scheduled for Friday night, and those went off without a hitch.  I had scribbled in basic nonsense for Saturday and Sunday.  "Clean" was Saturday's task, and "make tarts for work" was Sunday's.  With a full forty-eight hours at my disposal, these two tiny tasks were inconsequential.
     Turns out, my couch is pretty comfortable, and snacking on a giant bowl of popcorn and M&Ms throughout the day will first satisfy hunger pains, and then make me ill, thereby rendering more food preparation unnecessary.   The very vague "clean" tasker meant I could just pick something up, and maybe wash it, and check that off my list.  Being vague clears the path to laziness.  My mother is coming to visit on Thursday, so in my planner for Wednesday I wrote "make the apartment sparkle."  Clearly, this requires more effort.
     I was able to finish watching and rewatching a lot of my favorite things.  I finished up the first season of Laverne & Shirley.  It was good to see it again, and I'm mildly interested in seeing how the rest of it panned out- it seems to hit a better stride the more it pulled away from its spin-off roots.  But I'm not willing to fill up my queue with the next seven seasons of it.  I'm aware they eventually move to L.A. and that Shirley leaves to be a hooker or something.  I get the gist and the tone of the show, so I'll move on.  I also watched all of the episodes of Parks&Rec and 30 Rock with commentaries on them.   My new favorite saying is now "he can put butter on my butt and bite it."  Thanks, Tina Fey. 
     As it turns out, a full day of doing nothing can be pretty exhausting, so I ended up turning in pretty early.  I think I fell asleep listening to Christmas songs while I was trying to read a book.  I perhaps reread one sentence five times and drifted off. 
     Sunday required a bit more activity, but I managed to stretch it out over several hours.  Coffee and Saturday Night Live for breakfast- a great way to start the day.  Eventually I had to head to the worst place in the world: the grocery store.  I picked up the appropriate ingredients and then I took several hours to make treats that should have taken about an hour to make.  Patience is the key, though.  Oh, and a box of Macaroni and Cheese with peas mixed in makes a fantastic lunch.  I followed it up with pot stickers, Zombieland, and the Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip Christmas episode. 
     I didn't plan for this weekend's theme to be laziness, but I certainly welcomed it with open arms.  And then I wrapped it around me like a blanket and took a nap in it. 

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