I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm not actually sick, except that I'm so tired all the time, I feel like I should probably be sick. There's no other good explanation. I was attempting to go to bed earlier in hopes of getting more sleep and thereby not feeling so tired; it didn't work.
It's been almost an entire 36 hours and I'd like to retract everything I said about becoming a different person. The sentiment of it being hard is still true, but my desire to do it has seriously waned. I think I'll still try to stop biting my nails. And maybe I'll moisturize more. But the rest of it is bullshit.
I suppose baby steps are the answer, but right now, I'm not concerned with the answer. Also, there is a fine line between different and better. I was careful to not say I was trying to become a better person- that's not really true. Plus, better is relative. In this case, different is more objective. If there is something I was doing before, but I'm not doing it anymore, then it is different.
So, with the offer of a few chocolate covered pretzels and an overwhelming desire for burritos and coffee, I'm going back to my old life. Where I wasn't sick all that often, and I was tired for a damn good reason.
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