Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Anxiety and Me: A List and A Story

anx·i·e·ty  (ng-z-t)n. pl. anx·i·e·ties
    a. A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties.
    b. A cause of anxiety: For some people, air travel is a real anxiety.
2. Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression.
I try to contain it, but sometimes I have a lot of anxiety.  A few things that cause me anxiety are:
  • being late
  • being late especially when I can't do anything about it
  • purchasing airline tickets
  • deadlines
  • relationship discord
  • meeting heroes
  • grocery shopping
  • mostly any kind of shopping
  • crowds
  • crowds on public transportation
  • the wait before a concert or other big event
  •  waking up in Philadelphia at 3:30 in the morning when you think you should be in DC at 5:45
This last one caught me by surprise, which I'm pretty sure, based on the definition, is an inherent part of anxiety.
      You know how when you sleep on a bus you wake up every once in a while, look around, don't know where you are or how long you've been asleep, and then go back to sleep?  I was in that state of mind.  I opened my eyes and looked around.  It didn't look familiar at first, but it's possible I hadn't paid attention to the particular stretch we were on in the past.  It became obvious we were exiting a highway.  I didn't know what time it was at all.  And I may not be all that worldly, but I know what Philadelphia looks like, and that's what I saw.  It was dark and I saw Liberty Place One and Liberty Place Two sticking up into the skyline, and the PSFS building and the one with Ben Franklin on top.  "Aww, that's pretty.  I like Philadelphia.  Wait.  Why are we IN Philadelphia?"  Again, I'm not a geographical genius, but I knew we traveled near Philly yet had never been close enough to see the skyline.  And then we were getting off the highway and just driving through it.  I finally saw a giant-ass clock that read 3:30 am. 
     I stayed calm, trying to gage if anyone else was freaking out.  Nobody else seemed to be. I started going through worst case scenarios and contingency plans for getting to DC if for whatever reason this was our last stop.  The bus stopped, a few people got off, and then we kept going.  Oh.  Ok.  Back to sleep then.
     Apparently what happened is that since it I was on the last bus of the night from NYC they combined the Philly and DC buses.  From a business standpoint, it makes sense.  They may or may not have mentioned this before we left- I climbed on the bus and promptly nestled in with my iPod and drifted off to sleep.
      Since making it home safely and continuing the rest of my day, I've been laughing about this all day.  I feel as though the anxiety of waking up in a different city is justified.  Philadelphia is lovely though, and it was not crowded at 3:30 in the morning, so the anxiety was manageable.

No comments:

Post a Comment